What's In A Name?

"What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet (II, ii, 1-2)


I know what Shakespeare wrote is true but I also think our names define us in a way, may add to certain traits of our personalities.

Did you ever see the TV show "The Big Bang Theory", it's really funny. I just started watching it because it's in syndication and they are playing it on a few different channels later in the evening. I never got home early enough from work to watch it until now. It's about these nerdy scientists and last night one of the guys said he wanted to change his name. His name is Leonard. He said even "nerd" was part of his name. Poor Leonard. But maybe you know a guy named Leonard who is super smart, sexy, funny, loving. Changes the name Leonard. Maybe you know a mean Leonard, again changes the name Leonard.

I've met people over the years with not your run of the mill names. I don't mean like it is now, meeting people from all over the world with names I never heard of. One of my cousins married a guy from India, we just call him Sundar but his name is way longer than that. When he first introduces himself he just says call me Sundar and if you ask his full name and he tells you, you say, okay Sundar it is. But people with names like Apple or Brooklyn, etc. They stand out. People seem to remember their names and they are maybe just a bit more popular because of their name. Defining them.

I wrote not long ago how my nephew Jojo wanted to be called Joe. It just hasn't happened and he seems not to care about that right now. There's a chance it could become a big deal again at some point in his life but I think it will just get harder as he gets older. Someone is always saying, oh Jojo! He's hard not to notice. He's really really funny, and he does very well in school but outside of school, you need to call Jojo a dozen times to make him look at you and pay attention. Again I'm always hearing his name for one reason or another. Jojo. I can't think of him without thinking Jojo. Jojo got his name from his brother Robert who is a little less than 2 years older. He started it as a baby and it just became his name.

My name is Tricia. Legally, Patricia. My grandmother always called me Patricia and I can vaguely remember being called it by some of my cousins and my older brothers. I became Tricia because my younger sister by 2 years, Linda, couldn't say Patricia and called me Tricia. In grammar school some of the teachers would call me Pat and I never looked up. I just never considered it my name and after hearing Pat being called out a few times I would look up and around the class to see who wasn't paying attention, still not realizing it was me. In grammar school, I would never tell my teachers that my name was not Pat, but it really wasn't. Those who know me are nodding their heads in agreement right now, I'm not Pat or Patti. I'm Tricia. When I go to the doctors or the bank or somewhere I have to sign my name, I always write Patricia and then people will right away call me Pat. Now I'm sitting in the doctor's office and they're calling out Pat and I'm looking around to see who's not paying attention! Tricia is much more popular now than it was when I was growing up. I knew lots of Patricias in school and they were all called by their full names or Pat and Patti.

Two of my closest friends are named Patricia. What's the chance of that? We hung out together for years and still every once in a blue moon are all together at a party here and there. But I'm Tricia. Patti is Patti and Pat is Pat. When my friend Kathy first started hanging out with us she would always get confused over who was Pat and who was Patti. She would be saying something and I would be so confused if she was talking about Pat and meaning Patti and then I would be, duh, no Kathy, you mean Patti, not Pat. She still does it once in a while to this day, and I still get confused.

As I've mentioned I always wanted to be an actress. I grew up watching the old time movie stars who were forced by their studios to change their names. From Norma Jean to Marilyn? I like Norma Jean better, what about you? And I've never met a Marilyn. Are there a lot of woman out there named after her? Or did moms not name their daughters Marilyn thinking it was a too sexy a name for a baby? I personally don't know any Marilyns.

I also don't know if that happens so much anymore, actors and actresses changing their names, maybe it does, I think more people want to keep their names, it has defined them, they're proud of their names. I guess the only reason now anyone would do it is if you shared the same name as someone already famous. Do you know who Fannie Flagg is? Well she is an actress, used to be on Candid Camera and was on dozens of game shows and TV shows. She is also one of my favorite authors. She writes the most beautiful stories. You may have seen a movie from one of her books, "Fried Green Tomatoes". Well again the book is better, they always are...check out her books, really, you will feel so good after reading one. Just a great story teller. You fall in love with the characters. And Fannie Flagg's real name is Patricia too. Patricia Neal. But she couldn't use her real name because there was an Academy Award winning actress with that name. The other Patricia Neal, may she rest in peace, just passed away last year at 84 years old. You might remember her from "Breakfast at Tiffany's". She was the wealthy married lady "taking care of" George Peppard's character. She also played Olivia Walton in "The Homecoming", the movie that led to the TV series "The Waltons", among many more movies and television shows. So the other Patricia Neal became Fannie Flagg, I wonder how she chose that name? What would I want to be called if it couldn't be Tricia. I think it would be so hard to choose. Again I feel it defines me. I'm Tricia.

When parents name their children, so much thought goes in to what that name will be. What will his or her nickname be. I know lots of women who have had favorite names picked out for their children ever since they can remember, but then their married name doesn't match. I just went to a wedding this past spring and the bride was named Carol and she married a guy with the last name Carol! She's Carol Carol. What's the chance! My sister Debbie loved the name Chloe forever and always wanted to name her little girl Chloe but it just doesn't sound well with her last name and I can't imagine Ashley as Chloe, she's just Ashley, it fits.

My family happens to have a lot of weird connections with the same names. My parents were James and Alice and after my dad passed away, my second dad was Bo, a nickname for Robert, don't ask me why, I don't know. Bo grew up on lower east side of Manhattan and even had great friend named Robert who was also nicknamed Bo. Maybe it was popular in his neighborhood. My oldest brother was named James and both he and my father were called Jimmy. Big Jimmy and Little Jimmy. Although Bo was Bo to us, and was when he worked in the firehouse, when he was working light duty for the FDNY he would get calls from the office and they would ask for Bob. I always told them Bob didn't live here anymore, that was my brother, another NYC Firefighter. My brother Michael married a girl named Debbie, my sister Debbie married a guy name Mike. My brother was always called Michael and my brother in law has always been Mike. Mike has 3 brothers, two the same names as my brothers. Brother Bob and brother Jimmy. After my brother Michael passed away, my sister in law Debbie married a guy named Jim. Jim's family called him Jamie but we met him as Jim. Jim has a son who is also named Jamie. When Jim's family is talking about Jamie we always think it's Jim's son, we get confused, as you might be now. And Jim's last name was the name of the town my sister Debbie was living in at the time Jim became part of our family. My sister Linda married a Bob, who's parents were named Bob and Alice and this Bob was also a NYC Firefighter, graduated from the Academy in the same class as my father Bo (again short for Robert/Bob). My nephew Robert was named after Bo and he was originally going to be called Bo but he ended up always being called Robert or "Rah" as Jojo started has starting calling him that. Had he been called Bo, his family would have consisted of Bella, Bo, Jojo and his parents Joe and Jo. Are you confused! We lost touch with my father's side of the family for years and have recently been connected and even there we found another connection. My brother Bob and my cousin Steven both named their daughters Jessica.

So much in a name. You can instantly like someone when you meet them because of their name, they share the name of someone very dear to you and you connect a little easier just because of the comfort of that name. Works the other way too, when you know an ugly person (I mean on the inside) and then meet a person with that name, you might get a bad vibe just because of the name. I know most moms and dads didn't name their kids after people they didn't like. Never wanting to be reminded of that person while holding your beautiful baby.

I've often asked my Aunt Libby why I was named Patricia. She doesn't remember really, just like I am now, with all these kids in the family it gets confusing who said what, who did what, you can remember a funny incident but you just know it was one of the kids. I'm the fourth child. When my parents had my 3 older brothers, they had the boys names picked out and if any of them had been a girl, it would of been Debbie, my father's favorite name. I wonder if my father loved Debbie Reynolds too! I will ask Aunt Libby but I kinda think she or my mom would have mentioned that to me years ago. But by the time I came along, they changed their minds and named me Patricia and I guess still weren't thinking about the name Debbie when my sister Linda came along. Debbie was born after our father passed away, my mom always felt she was a special gift my father left behind, and she named her Debbie, his favorite name. She may not have known him, but she has to remember she has his favorite name. Something special.

I made these little tags for Jojo's 4th birthday party bag. Just got a really cute picture of him, but had him sign his name which makes the tags so precious. I punched a hole in them and tied a ribbon to a clear plastic bag. They were really easy to make, again you can get clear plastic bags at Michael's Craft store or any craft store in your neighborhood. I love that I have his signature at 4 years old. I hope he likes looking at it years from now. And I wonder if he will still be Jojo.