Couch Potatoes

These are some of the couch potatoes in my life, my brothers Bob and Joey, cousins Doug and Dennis and brother in law Mike. My whole life there have been boys, men, "the guys" sitting on the couch watching sports while all the women are cooking and cleaning up. And a lot of the women in my life are big sports fans, as I've mentioned my mom one of the biggest. (And Doug I know I still have to make you a t-shirt with this picture!)

I come from a large family, 2 sisters and 4 brothers. When I was growing up, my sister Linda and I had to clean off the table after dinner and do the dishes. Every night probably since I was about 12 and Linda 10. Debbie was much younger than us and by the time she was old enough to help she got out of it by doing a terrible job, on purpose. My mother or father would just tell her to let us do it. Let us do it? Thanks Deb! My 3 older brothers had to get the milk at a cute store 2 blocks away, the Milk Farm. They sold milk in those old-fashioned glass bottles and had the best chocolate milk, so chocolatey you could mix the bottle with half regular milk and still have the tastiest glass of chocolate milk. With 7 kids who were all big milk fans the boys did have to carry about 12 quarts a day in a steel carrier that could fit 6 bottles in it, they did have to carry two of them and I know it was heavy but they were teenagers and could handle it. I certainly didn't see going to the store as big a chore as cleaning off the table and doing the dishes for 9 people every night. They split the chore as well, each doing it a different day. Every day dinners in our house were at least 9 people and we pretty much had a guest or two along with that. My Aunt Kathy and Uncle Richie were constantly there during those years.

After every holiday dinner that has sports involved in any way, the guys in my life get up and go sit and watch TV while the women clean up. That's the way it was, that's the way it is. There have been times where the guys say they will do it and they do, but it's rare and most times there's usually one or two of the women helping out. I will say that the men in my life are also very good in their own homes during non holiday times, non-sports times. They do the dishes, take care of the kids, cook, clean. But when there's a game on, there they all are, picking their favorite spot before dinner and going right back there as soon as dinner is over.

They never give a thought to the clean up. Again I will saying if there are no sports on, they are great. But if one of us girls gets up, you'll always see another one or two pop up, getting ready for the clean up. I can't just sit there or go sit on the couch. I'm like a trained dog, I start to help clean off the table. Years ago I remember starting a discussion about how it must feel to just go and sit and the couch and not have that gut reaction to get up and start helping to clean off the table. I can go on sit on the couch after I've offered to help and been told no thanks, but I still feel weird sitting on the couch and not doing something. I don't think the guys feel that way at all. Again I think they are great men and I'm not bashing them here, it's just the way we were trained as kids. The boys in my family had certain jobs, taking out the garbage and going to the Milk Farm. When we were growing up they were never expected to clean off the table. That was the girls job. I bet it was like that in a lot of homes during the time I grew up.

I know things are changing and guys help out way more in this generation then men did when I was growing up. But I also grew up during the times when dads went to work and moms stayed home and took care of the house. A lot of kids now have grown up watching both their parents go out to work, sharing the household duties, taking care of the kids. I wonder if the next generation of men will have that gut reaction to just get up and help with the clean up and dishes after big family dinners. I don't know. I watch my niece Bella with her two older brothers. Bella is 6, Jojo 9 and Robert 11. She came into the world with crazy wild brothers. She watched what they watched on TV, Power Rangers, wrestling, all kinds of sports and boys action films, what ever they watched. She's a tough cookie, great at sports, smart, opinionated, but there's still that little girl that comes out as she plays with one of her dolls or a stuffed animal. Just different from her brothers. She loves to help out, setting the table and even cleaning up afterwards. It's not every time but more often than not. She is proud of helping out, acting all grown up setting every thing up and gabbing away. Her brothers will put their dishes in the sink but again if not constantly told they will just get up and go out or play their video games or be the youngest couch potatoes in my life! I don't think any of our parents tried to raise us differently, I think they just do what their guts are telling them with their sons and daughters. We're different, from girls and boys to women and men.

As far as couch potatoes. Nature versus nurture? I say nurture!