MADD - Mothers Against Drunk Driving

M.A.D.D.
CAMPAIGN TO ELIMINATE DRUNK DRIVING

Our organization began with a mother who lost her child in a drunk driving crash. She turned grief into positive change; her work and the work of so many other mothers, fathers, sisters and brothers started a movement that has saved 300,000 lives…and counting.

But even today, one in three people will be involved in an alcohol-related crash in their lifetime. Our children share the road with an estimated 2 million drivers who have had three or more prior drunk driving offenses.

Together, we can take three important steps to finish the work of one grieving mother and protect our families from the danger of drunk driving:

Support the heroes who keep our roads safe. High-visibility law enforcement catches drunk drivers and discourages others from driving drunk.
Require convicted drunk drivers to blow before they go. Ignition interlock devices, or in-car breathalyzers, require all convicted drunk drivers to prove they are sober before the car will start.
Turn cars into the cure. Tomorrow’s cars will protect each of us, automatically determining whether or not the driver is above the legal limit of .08 and failing to operate if the driver is impaired.
With your support, the Campaign to Eliminate Drunk Driving will make the future safer for those we love and end drunk driving once and for all. Click here to sign the Campaign pledge.



Okay I'm not a mom, but I'm a sister, an aunt, a cousin, a friend and against drunk driving. I just started driving again 3 years ago. About 1994 or so, while driving into Brooklyn and just about to get on the Verrazano Bridge someone hit me from behind. It took me a minute or two to realize what happened. I was in shock and there were about 10 cars involved in the accident, all of the others left the scene of the accident, the police never came and I was left sitting there for hours waiting for someone to come. No cell phones, so close to the bridge, you would think someone would have reported it, but no one did, I finally drove my car back home which ended up being totaled and I was lucky to have made it home. I drove for a while after that but was nervous, my back tense, constantly checking the rearview mirror, always feeling like someone was going to hit me. Even as a passenger, I wasn't comfortable anymore. I stopped driving. I knew I wasn't a good driver anymore, I was too nervous, anticipating the worst when I got behind the wheel and my accident didn't even involve drunk driving, at least that I know about, maybe it did.

I got a new job 3 years ago and I need to drive to work so I went back and got my permit and my license and starting driving again. I was still a little nervous. Never bothered turning the radio on or off or changing the radio station, just needed to know how the windshield wipers and defrost went on, and that was enough for me. I've gotten way better, back to feeling pretty much the way I did before that accident, very comfortable driving, except when the roads are icy and snowy. A different story, then I'm just nervous because of the road conditions, which I guess I should be. I'm also nervous because I've seen that drivers are crazier and not because they're drunk. I see so many people talking on their cell phones, texting, just driving from lane to lane in such a hurry. I've pulled over more times than I can tell you because some one is in such a hurry to get where they're going and I can't stand that they are so close. And most times I catch up with that driver at the next light or the toll booth going over the bridge. No need to rush.

When I was teenager and in my 20s there wasn't such an awareness about drunk driving. People really did it all the time and you could have a can of beer in your car in a paper bag and actually ask a cop for directions. It's hard to believe but that's the way it was.

I'm sorry and embarrassed to say that my friends and I drove under the influence too many times in our late teens and early 20s. We never caused an accident or got into one, but we were just lucky. We were stupid. My friends that are parents wont even talk about it, sick to death with worry that their kids would do anything as dumb as we did.

I had a friend in high school, Barbara. Barbara was a beautiful girl, kinda looked like Courtney Cox. Barbara was nuts, always pushing everything to the limit as far as our practical jokes went. She got me my first job at Burger King which ended up giving me so many new friends in Staten Island when I first moved here. But we used to call each other BFFs. I thought Barbara made the term up. This was back in 1976 and I had never heard it before. We also had characters called Marvin and Petunia and we used to perform at our school assemblies and our coffee house get togethers. We were BFFs. But my mom didn't care for Barbara and Barbara's mom didn't care for me. My mom could see that I got in just a little more trouble when I hung out with Barbara, and Barbara's mom abused Barbara, physically and mentally, she was a horrible mother. Barbara ran away lots of times and would come to my house and her mom hated that, hated that I knew, she wasn't embarrassed, she was mad. Barbara had 2 brothers and 1 sister but her parents never mistreated them, always Barbara. I felt bad for her, I couldn't imagine what that must be like.

Barbara and I ended up having a falling out the summer after we graduated high school. She got fired from Burger King and for some reason thought I told on her, which I didn't. We both did some crazy stuff while working there (not anything to people's food, we weren't that bad) but again Barbara always pushed it. We both probably deserved to get fired for a few of the antics we were pulling at work but she got caught. She was using the big water sprayer that came out of the wall. We used it to clean the big bins. Barbara climbed the wall like Batman and Robin using the sprayer and it came out of the wall, water busting out all of the kitchen. Nothing to do with me. But she never spoke to me after that. We even used to commute on the same bus to separate secretarial schools in the city and she would ignore me.

I was devastated. I loved Barbara. I didn't like that we weren't friends anymore. I tried to tell her I had nothing to do with it but again she wouldn't speak to me.

Barbara moved to Florida not long after she graduated from secretarial school, I'm sure to get away from her mother. After a night of partying she and another girl drove home drunk. They crashed and the driver and Barbara lived but the driver walked away, Barbara was in a coma for a year and when she woke up, she wasn't Barbara anymore. She couldn't walk very well, had to learn who everyone was and is basically like a 4 year old. She was in a home in New Jersey and her father used to take her home on weekends, to be with the family, he took her to church, I think he was somewhat of a good man, but just didn't have the backbone to stand up to his wife and was at least trying now to make up somehow for not protecting her when she needed him most. Another friend of mine's mom, Mrs. K, played cards with Barbara's mom so I got to hear stories over the years as we both got our haircut at the same place. Eventually Barbara's mother didn't want her home on weekends and moved her up to a home in Massachusetts so she couldn't come home every weekend. Such a sad life. I wrote to her parents, asking to see Barbara but they never responded. I think of Barbara often. I hear the term BFF all the time now, in my heart it will always belong to Barbara.

Last year I went to a 50th year anniversary of the church and school in my neighborhood held in the sports center. I know so many people that went to that grammar school. Barbara and her brothers and sister went there. My friends Tara, Eileen E and G, Pat, even my brother in law Bob and his brother and sister and so many more. The event was celebrating the history and lots of different graduating classes would be there. I went with Tara, invited by our friend Eileen E who never showed up! It was a nice event but I didn't know anyone and Tara only met one girl from her graduating class. I was also hoping to see Barbara's brothers or sister there, even asked at the sign in desk if they were on the list, sadly there weren't. They did have a wall with pictures of all the graduating classes and I saw Barbara's picture, so beautiful seeing her smiling face again.

This is Barbara and I, senior year, when we worked on the year book together.



They have 2 gyms at the sports center and one was set up with tables and that's where some of the priests and nuns and teachers told stories of the old days and then the other room was set up with the food, buffet style. During the speeches, Tara and I just sat on the bleachers not at our assigned table but when we finally got our plates of food we did sit at our assigned table. I was stuffing my face as the food was delicious and Tara was chatting with the guy sitting on the other side of her. He was saying how no one from his graduating class was there either but he came with his brother and there were a few from his class. Then they introduced themselves and he said his name was Billy B. I almost choked. Billy B. was Barbara's first boyfriend. He used to pick us up after school or after we went to the movies as he was 2 years older than us, actually was Barbara's older brother's best friend. I got up right away, trying to swallow my food and still prevent myself from choking and said Billy, it's me Tricia. Tara, again who remembers everything from over 30 years ago to today, said it was like a movie the way we both looked at each other and though it might have looked like we were long lost lovers we just were two people connected to someone who still lives, though doesn't, because of drunk driving.

Billy and I spent the evening talking about Barbara. Billy's married and has kids and I could see his brother looking at him like what's going on. Tara even insinuated, saying the way we were looking at each other. First that's not my style, I don't mess with anyone's man, never did, never will and second, I know what it looked like but it was all about our love for Barbara and sharing our grief and more our happy memories of her and the times we shared with her.

Please don't drink and drive. Please don't text and drive. Please don't drive if you're too tired, it's known to be worse than driving drunk. Please be careful. Be safe!