It's been a long time since I posted to my blog. Many reasons. So not important. But a light went on in my spirit today when a great friend told me that Sister Kathleen had passed away on September 14, 2015. Why did a light in spirit come on? Sounds not right when you lose someone you love dearly. But that is the best way for me to describe how I felt.
I don't know how old she was. I know too young, too good. But I believe God said her job was done and that He called her back.
I was raised Catholic. My biological father James was Catholic, my mother, Alice, Protestant. I went to Catholic school from kindergarten to senior year of high school. I was raised in grammar school with the "fear of God". I lived across the street from my school, from the convent, the rectory and the church. I did not like nuns in grammar school. I should say mostly I did not like nuns in grammar school because there were a couple of nice ones, but there were more mean, miserable sisters who taught me nothing about faith, taught me to fear God, taught me that I was a sinner and constantly had to go to church to beg God for forgiveness. I chose to go to Catholic high school for one reason. I did not want to attend the public high school in my neighborhood. I had my reasons. But I didn't go to Catholic high school because I had tremendous faith and wanted to continue a religious education. I remember at my orientation with Sr. Lois. She was telling me and my mom about what a great religious education I would get at St. John Villa Academy and my mother saw that look on my face, the look of laughter being held down so tight in my gut, but I was going to lose the hold. She kicked me under the table and I guess that knocked the laughter out of me. I went to St. John Villa for four years. Yes I did learn more about religion. My faith grew not from learning more about the Bible and religion. My faith grew from the actions of people I came to know.
As I said my father James was Catholic, but he died when I was 7 years old. My mother had five children and found out shortly after his death that she was pregnant with her sixth child. I don't remember my mother being sad, I remember her doing everything to make me happy and I was. My older brothers have told me they saw her cry, maybe I heard her too or saw it, but I don't remember. To protect myself I could have blocked that memory. But two years after my mother gave birth to my youngest sister Debbie, she met a saint, a Jewish saint!?!! Yes. My mother met a single Jewish man who was a New York City firefighter, his name was Bo. He worked in a very busy and dangerous firehouse. My mom didn't sleep when he worked. She worried. She finally talked him into switching out of that firehouse to a less busy house that was closer to where we lived as well, though he did die of cancer in 1991 and it was probably from all the fires he fought with so little protection. Firefighters have more protection today but I don't think it's ever enough. Bo's parents both outlived him and me and my brothers and sisters were all sure that he would be with us into and possibly beyond his 90s, but he was 59, just a week or so shy of his sixtieth birthday.
As I said he was Jewish and I remember asking him at some point in my young life if he believed in Jesus. He told me yes, he believed in Jesus but not like I did. He said Jesus was a good man and a prophet and that was what his religion taught him. I accepted his answer, didn't argue because I loved and respected this man and over time he became my father, the only father I ever knew, I loved him, he loved me. He and my mom had a child together, my youngest brother Joey and Bo never treated any of us differently than his biological son. In fact he wanted to adopt me and my sisters because he was the only father we knew, but I told him a piece of paper didn't make him my father, his actions made him my father, his love. Unconditional love. I had faith in him. He would never leave us.
Back to Sister Kathleen. As I said in grammar school I feared and did not like nuns, in fact, for many years I did not think they were human. I didn't think they ate, slept, took off their habits, again I didn't see them as humans, nor did I see them as Godly or holy. But at St. John Villa practically all of the nuns were kind and funny. By that time the habits the sisters wore did not cover every part of their body. They wore small veils, proper lengthened a-line skirts and blouses. Many times I saw them without their veils, dressed in "street clothes" if you will. They became humans to me.
Sister Kathleen taught science. She was very smart, strict but young and cool. She played the guitar and sang at masses, or "coffee house" get togethers we had during my years at Villa. We even had a PJ party at school and so many of the sisters were there in their PJs having fun with all of us in the auditorium which had been made into a camping ground for us. We sang, we laughed, we made fun of the sisters and they made fun of us. And I think it was probably at that PJ Party that my friend Linda dressed up as Sr. Lois, who was the principal by then, and sang the song "Love" but used the name "Lois". I will never forget that. I don't think anyone could. Sr. Lois had to laugh, Linda was just the funniest person, voted class clown in our senior year.
Linda and I were mischievous school girls. We didn't do bad things, we did funny things. Sometimes some of our funny things were not so funny to all but Linda and I still to this day can laugh hysterically remembering the things we did. Right outside the principal's office was the electric box and we shut down the power in the school so many times. We never got caught but I know all the sisters and other teachers knew who did it.
Also at the school there were phones in the classrooms and a few in the hallways but you couldn't dial a call. You picked up the phone and it rang in the convent's telephone room and one of the sisters would connect you to the person you wanted. Linda and I would constantly take these phones off the hook and run and the only way to stop them from ringing in the convent was to go to the actual phone and place it back on the hook. Villa had at one time been a boarding school so we had different buildings and hallways and connections to get to and from the different buildings, whoever had to hang those phones up was not laughing, of course we are both sorry now that we probably had one of the elderly nuns going up and down stairs or from one building to the other hanging up these phones. One day we took one of the phones off the hook and ran and while running we ran right into Sister Kathleen. Sr. Kathleen said whoa slow down girls, we said we were late for class and kept running but as soon as Sr. Kathleen was out of earshot we both said that's it, we were caught dead on. She was going to walk right by a phone dangling on the wall.
Sister Kathleen got to Linda first, I can't remember what she said or did to Linda, Linda will have to comment on this post and tell you. But Linda warned me I was in trouble and as nice as Sister Kathleen was, she was strict and we really shouldn't have been taking those phones off the hook. You grow up and learn, we were young and silly and didn't think about the consequences of our actions. I avoided Sister Kathleen as much as I could but I knew she would get me at some point. I also knew she wouldn't call me into the office and discipline me in front of the principal. She would take care of it herself and she did. I finally walked by her classroom at some point and she backed me up against a wall, put her hands around my neck and lifted me off the floor. So serious and stern she said "you will never take those phones off the hook again." Barely able to talk I said, "yes Sister Kathleen I will never do that again." I didn't and neither did Linda. Sister Kathleen didn't tell on us. Didn't give us demerits and never treated us differently than she had prior to catching us.
Throughout high school we had to attend a religious retreat. In freshmen, sophomore and junior years it was a one full school day retreat but senior year we went away for a weekend and each of us had our own room with a bed, a desk and a bible. Trust me I never opened that bible and Linda and I were not on our best behavior. We were not there for a religious retreat, we were there to have fun, to make trouble and laugh. We did but again some of our antics were dangerous. We weren't thinking. We were just doing and what we were doing was going out the window of our rooms and sliding across a ledge to get into other people's rooms. Yes we got caught and Linda was the first. When one of the sisters asked Linda if she was out on the ledge, Linda said right away, "yes sister I was." We didn't lie when we were caught. We didn't disrespect any of the sisters or teachers on purpose, again we were just silly girls. One of the nuns sat up all night in the hallway outside our rooms. We all had our doors open and she watched us through the night. The next day Sister Kathleen was my guardian. Okay she was my guard. I was going to not be a silly girl and I was going to get something out of this religious retreat and I did. Because of Sister Kathleen. We were at mass, I was sitting right by her side and not at all feeling religious, just sitting there with ants in my pants waiting for the mass to be over with and then I noticed Sister Kathleen praying. It was one of the most beautiful sights I have ever witnessed in my life. I watched her pray and I felt and envied her faith. That was the first time I really thought about praying. Thought about faith. The first time I realized that my faith was not there. Yes I believed in Jesus and God, I was taught that my entire life, drummed into my head, but that day I saw faith, true faith, not something drummed into someone's mind and just going through the motions, I saw the real thing. I felt envy right away, though I never told Sister Kathleen that. But I wondered how she had such faith, where did that come from? She was an inspiration to me and though I have gone to church at certain times in my life I am not a regular attendee. But I have faith now. Do I have the faith that Sister Kathleen had. Sadly no. I try to and I always think back to that day watching her pray and it helps but I know I just don't have the faith that Sister Kathleen did. She was truly called into a religious life.
God bless you Sister Kathleen, you made me a better person, you gave me tremendous faith.
Rest in peace Sister Kathleen, you did good, you made a difference in this world.
No comments:
Post a Comment