On The Other Hand, Jojo...

Last night I had dinner downstairs with my brother, his ex-wife and three kids, Robert, Jojo and Bella. Yes I live upstairs from my ex-sister-in-law and yes, my brother and his ex have a pretty good relationship. Not perfect, even last night they got into a little snit with each other, nothing heated, but Bella, who just turned 7, says as soon as it started, "that's why you got divorced in the first place." She's so smart. Unfortunately she knows something about divorce but she didn't say what she said with any sadness or regret, just a fact, so I guess she understands that it has nothing to do with her and her brothers, that's a good thing.

It was nice having dinner with the kids. I mostly see them when I'm picking one of them up for practice or a game, or watching them if my brother goes out, and Sundays for church with Bella, our regular thing. Big difference running around with them as opposed to sitting down and sharing a family dinner, nice conversation, and I'm not in charge of anything, that's when I love being an aunt. And the boys are at the age now where they ignore me in public, or if they do look at me, they give me a look that means don't embarrass me, don't kiss me, don't smile too much, they are cool and me saying hello to them in pubic is so not cool. I can nod my head and get a nod back most times but mostly I accept the look and add up in my mind how many kisses they owe me when we're alone.

When I walked in the door the boys were playing a video game. Robert looked up and said hello and Jojo, on the other hand, didn't hear me or notice me, I was invisible. Of course I went up and kissed them and made Jojo say hello and give me some loving back, he does, he likes the kisses, again as long as they are not in public, Robert too. Jojo you just have to nudge sometimes, he's often in his own crazy world. He's a smart kid, does well in school, just a wild child when he's free to be. After dinner was over, Jojo just came up to me kissed me, hugged me and said I love you. Out of the blue, just thought of giving me that. I know that kid loves me and I also know he's going to drive women wild when he's older, he just knows how to love deeply and get under your skin. He knows how to make you laugh during a heated moment and can bust chops with the best of them. And Bella always greets me like she hasn't seen me in years, hugs and kisses. Little girls!

My brother and his ex are both funny people and their kids are funny, especially Jojo and Bella, but more Jojo. Bella knows when she's making someone laugh, cares, wants to make them laugh, she's "on". Jojo can be like that too, but most of the time when he's just being himself, doing what he wants, he will make you laugh the most.

A couple of weekends ago, my brother, his kids, my cousins, their kids, a bunch of friends they've made in the sports community here in our neighborhood all went to a Staten Island Wagner College basketball game. Long Island University was the opposing team and unfortunately they won that night, but that was the only downer of the night. Well, my nephew Luke also missed out a bit, didn't feel well during the game and went home with his mom. Luke and his mom did get to see the rest of the game when they got home as ESPN was broadcasting the game. They also got to see, and shared with me, my nephews Robert and Jojo, who were caught on camera and on ESPN that night.


The reason the camera got them was because they had their faces painted green with white lettering saying Wagner across their foreheads, Wagner's school colors. Bella was painted green too although not filmed by ESPN. Bella and her cousin Gracie are like two peas in a pod when they are together, they amended the acronym BFF (best friends forever) to BFCF (best friends cousins forever). I just love that and they both brought their dolls with them and I'm sure were more into hanging and imagining with each other than watching the game. They had fun, another special, fun time spent with each other.






Again Robert got more camera time, probably because you could actually see his face, he was cheering and moving a little, but you could clearly see Wagner written across his forehead. A good shot for ESPN.

Jojo, on the other hand...always Jojo on the other hand...was WILD. Had his shirt off too and Wagner and ESPN across his chest. But he's moving all over, up and down, side to side, CRAZY! He also spent most of the game right next to the cheerleaders. At first not in sync with the girls but soon keeping up and doing the same cheer. My brother asked the cheerleaders if they wanted to get rid of their new mascot, but they, like everyone else, were getting a kick out of Jojo, he got under their skin.

About a week or so ago I got a text from Jojo. He just got his own cell phone and yes I think it's ridiculous, way too young, but not my business. But anyway, I get a text that says "call me" so I did. I said hello, how are you and then asked, what's up. He said nothing, "I just like my ring tone and wanted to hear it". I found out later via a Facebook posting from my cousin Chrissy that he sent her the same text, then his Aunt Janet comments that she got one too but didn't recognize the number and didn't call him back. Crazy kid right? But he makes me laugh, he makes our family laugh, he really makes everyone laugh and feel good.



I have watched this video quite a few times, I know he's my nephew and I love him, know him. But in the one second they catch of him cheering at the game you can just tell this kid is having fun, a wild child! Not that you will miss him, but Jojo is at about the 15 second point in this short clip.

I am drawn to kids like this, the ones that can just make you laugh without trying. I'm drawn to adults like that as well, funny people make you feel good, best medicine in the world.

Now and Then

Now I live a life of right now. My phone rings and I answer it right now. I get a text and I text back right away. I need something from the store and I can go to a 24 hour deli within walking distance to my home to get pretty much anything I need or drive not too far and get again pretty much anything...now.

Then...then was slower, then was not right now. Then was "as soon as possible" which meant to me, as soon as I can get to it, no rush. Now it's ASAP and it doesn't mean what it meant then, it means right now. Does changing the words to an acronym, making it capital letters, make it mean something different? I've found out for many people it does.

Was it always that way? Did it always mean whenever you get a chance when you said as soon as possible and then mean right now when you said ASAP? I kinda think it's just part of now. Now everything is right now.

My 11 year old nephew Robert loved the movie The Wizard of Oz when he was about 2 or so, called Dorothy, Dot. Watched it all the time on video and would rewind it and watch it again as I've seen many of my nieces and nephews do. I myself will watch a movie many times over, but not right away, I don't think I've ever watched a movie and then started it from the beginning.

One year the family was gathered at my Aunt Libby and Uncle Richie's house for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, I can't remember which, but Robert was in the kitchen watching The Wizard of Oz on TV, the first time he had ever watched the movie on TV as opposed to watching his own copy of the video on the VCR. At one point my cousin Doug came running out of the kitchen all worried because Robert was crying and really upset. A bunch of us went into the kitchen and found out that Robert was upset because there was a commercial break during the movie. He didn't know what a commercial was. He began his life in the "now" era, right now, ASAP. It took a while but we got him calmed down, tried as best to explain what a commercial was, that Dorothy, Dot, was coming back, very soon. And of course it wouldn't be long before commercials became a good thing to him, as with all kids. The "I want that" for every commercial with toys or cereal and candy. And of course, I want that now. Order it on the computer mom, dad, now.

Now. We all want everything right now and I miss then, when it might have been inconvenient sometimes to not be able to get anything I wanted right away...now...but it was easier, less stressful...then.

Then. Any day I could laze around, read, watch a movie, not answer the phone, no one knew where I was, what I was doing. There were no answering machines, no caller ID, I didn't know who called and if it was important, I knew whoever it was would call back. I knew if the phone rang off the hook it was important. Of course there were quite a few of my younger brother or sister's friends just being a pain in the you know what, but mostly it was important when the phone rang like that. And "then" using the phone as a kid was rare, I can't remember using the phone until I was a teen. I know now kids use phones way before being a teen, way before. My 7 year old niece Bella wants a phone and has told us how many people she could already call and text if she did have a phone, all family, all adults. But she wants a phone. Now.

I talk to parents "now" and they want to be in touch with their kids every second of the day and I totally understand that. I'm neurotic, I would be a worrying parent. I worry enough about my nieces, nephews, and the rest of my family and friends, I would be a loony tunes as a mom!

But "then" when I went out with my friends in my late teens and early 20s, my parents always went to bed their regular time. They knew who I was with, where I was going. They didn't know when I would be home, or if my plans would change, they went to sleep and I was never asked to call them, unless I needed them. The one and only phone was downstairs in the kitchen. And if it was really important and I needed to call them, I would just ring the phone for as long as it took to wake them, which wouldn't be too long, again we all know what long phone rings meant. Then.

Now and then. So many differences, so many changes. Where will it end? I fear the future will be even crazier for the kids and teens of today. Right now they are in school and texting is their way of communicating. I've seen my younger nieces texting while they are at family parties. Now. They have to be in touch with their friends right now. When I went to family or friends' parties with my parents yes, there were a few times we went places that were boring and I at least always had my younger sister Linda to hang with so I was lucky, but usually we ended up joining in the socializing at the party, talking to family and friends, even though we were forced to attend, we ended up having a good time, there was not much else to entertain us...then. Now kids just text all day to their friends, all day. Is that good? Is that a good way to socialize? Shortcuts for every word too! It took me years to learn what lol was. First had no idea and then thought it meant lots of love, but it's laugh out loud, in case you're like me. And you know I really do laugh out loud when I read some texts or comments on Facebook and write that and mean it, but for most it's just become a sign off, lol. Then laughing out loud was something you did. Now it's lol and it's something you just write and don't do.

What happens when kids today have fuller lives, working, more family, their own children, more friends? Will they continue the instant, now, ASAP way of life? Will we have wrist watches like the Dick Tracy comic book watch? A watch where you can talk and see the person, right now. I think it will be, very soon. Will a parent be in the living room in the future watching a movie and talk into their watch to say goodnight to their child upstairs or check and see if they are doing their homework? Will husbands and wives do the same thing. Now, ASAP, is not always the best. I can't imagine more of right now, instantly, ASAP!

Then, if I was hungry at night, wanted a little snack and didn't have any chips or cookies left I would always have graham crackers or saltines which I would use to make little jelly sandwiches, not a peanut butter fan, but they were in the cabinet, jelly in the fridge, a fried egg sandwich on toast, toast with butter and cinnamon, I haven't had that in years, just stuff that was always just there, then...

Now if I'm hungry at night I can microwave anything from breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks in seconds and if I don't have it at home right now I can go to the store and get what I need, now...

There is one great thing I can say about the now, technology wise, ASAP wise, now. I'm never lonely, alone yes, but never lonely. I can get in touch with pretty much anyone at anytime, especially when it's important. I can get help or love right now.

But I do have to remember, as I think a lot of us do, to be a little more "then" like...kinda "Zen" like. As much as I live in the now where I belong, I always have to keep the then on the back burner. Take it easy, do things as soon as possible, make toast with butter and cinnamon. Not answer the phone, not text back right away.

Zen is a way of being. A state of mind. Zen means ignoring illusion, seeing without distortion created by what's going on in your head.

Then is also a state of being, a state of mind. Then means ignoring the right now, the ASAP, seeing without the distortion created by instant gratification, living a simpler, less stressful life.

I've had a "then" day, no stress, no ASAP and "now" I feel clearer, relaxed, more myself.

Remember the Then when you're in the Now.

An Old Fashioned Love Story

When I see an old fashioned Checker Cab it brings up lots of memories. Living in Brooklyn in the 60s there were Checker Cabs all over, now they have car service or I guess what some people may call Gypsy cabs. You still see yellow cabs/taxis in Brooklyn and the other boroughs but mostly because they are bringing someone home from the city or one of the airports in the Tri-State area. But again when I was a kid they were all over Brooklyn and I remember the caboose seats that would pop up from the floor. There were some cabs that had them and some that didn't and I was always delighted when we got a cab with the pop up seats. Absolutely so dangerous at this time but then we just didn't do things the way we do now. And in those days all the cabs were Checker Cabs. Eventually newer cabs came out but you still would see Checker Cabs for many years.

We lived in the Bay Ridge section of Brooklyn and when you went shopping, no malls in those days, 86th Street was the place to go. And if you have ever heard of the Century 21 Department Stores, the original store was located in my neighborhood on 86th Street. We could walk or take the bus or train to 86th Street, we lived on 97th Street, but sometimes we would take a cab home, I guess when we had too many packages. I don't remember, but my mom told me I always wanted to take the cab, I was about 5 years old and she said I would walk to the curb, wave my arm and yell "TAXI"! I always wanted to whistle too. The way when people put two fingers in their mouth and it's really loud. I remember my father, among so many others, could do it. I always tried to learn but never could. Heck I can barely whistle the easy way. I know for years I wanted to learn so I could hail a taxi with that whistle and at concerts and some of the few sports events I've attended in my life.

I went to secretarial school and worked in New York City for many years, midtown, downtown, Times Square, Rockefeller Center, starting in 1977 and at that time there were still lots of Checker Cabs in the City. Newer cabs were nicer but you could fit way more people in a Checker Cab. But I've learned the ins and outs of hailing a cab even without whistling. You have to keep your eyes on all four corners, watch the little old ladies, they may look small and frail but put a taxi, bus or train seat in front of them and you can't believe how fast they move. On a rainy day you're better off getting wet walking to the train or bus and looking for a cab on your way, maybe getting lucky, instead of standing in the rain, getting splashed, and get splashed you will, trying to hail a cab. And if you hail a cab and it gets stuck at a light and another cab pulls up, you get in that cab. Just again the ins and outs of getting a cab ride in New York City.

Over the years I've met so many people, some again I can't even remember their names but I remember their faces and sharing some little part of my life. Others I can remember their first names and not last and I'm also so lucky that quite a few of the people I've met over the years are still in my life. I know their first and last names, their faces and their hearts.

Years ago I worked as a secretary for a big financial firm downtown on a mini trading floor, from about 1985 to 1990 or so. The trading floor I worked in was originally created to take care of the partners' finances but eventually it morphed and included high net worth individuals. And again, as I have been so many times, just this close to meeting or even seeing Bruce Springsteen face-to-face, as he had an account set up in our department. I just wasn't around the time he came in! It was also the time Oliver Stone and bad-boy Charlie Sheen spent a few days in my office, Charlie sitting just across from my desk with one of the traders, Richard, who I had the biggest crush on! Oliver Stone was making the film Wall Street at the time and wanted to see a trading floor up close and in action. Oliver mostly stood off to the sides watching the entire scene, while Charlie again, was sitting with super handsome Richard!

But no love story there with Richard or Charlie or Oliver. But my old fashioned love story is from those years when I worked on the trading floor and also a Checker Cab. Again I only remember her first name, Michele. And her boyfriend, eventually husband, his name is Emmet. He used to call the office and say it was Al calling and I asked Michele why. She said it was because most people when they heard Emmet would always say "what?" "who?". So he just came up with Al. It's funny weird but my name is Tricia and I know I have a Brooklyn accent and tawk funny but I can't tell you how many people think my name is Georgia when I say my name over the phone. Seriously! I don't know how they get Georgia? Maybe it's not my accent but the speed in which I say my name!

So back to my friend Michele. Michele worked for the big guy on the floor, don't remember his name either but he actually worked on a bigger trading floor a few years before running my department and had a heart attack right at his desk. Oh I do remember his first name now that I'm telling the story, Bruce. Bruce how could I forget that!! He calmed down, had to, when he worked in our department, but he still made me nervous. Of course when Michele was out I was the fill-in for her. I was nervous working for Bruce but he liked me pretty much, I have a way of getting the grumpiest of people to smile.

One day I asked Michele how she met Emmet. I was entranced with the story, it should be a movie, it would be a real life fairy tale come true. Michele had been on a date with a guy she had dated years before and during the date she remembered why the relationship didn't go further than just one date, he was an ass. She got through the date as quickly as she could, left the restaurant and hailed a cab. She got an old fashioned Checker Cab.

She was in Manhattan and lived in Queens and told the driver where to take her. She was not in the best of moods, had a horrible evening and was thinking what does she say when this guy calls her again, and he was going to call! She was lost in her thoughts when the cab driver started talking to her. She wasn't in the mood to chitchat but eventually she found herself engaged in a nice conversation with the driver and they chatted the whole ride to her home.

About a year later Michele was in the city one night at her ballet lesson and it was pouring rain, had been all day, one of those cold days and you just can't get the chill out of yourself. Michele left the lesson, heading out into the pouring rain to hail a cab. Now again rain and cabs in New York city are a rare bird. And in the rain it's so hard to see, if you're lucky enough to get a cab, someone else can jump right in front of you, just as you're closing up your umbrella, and there your cab goes!

Michele hailed a cab and just as she did the light changed red and the cab she hailed got caught at the light. Another cab pulled up and Michele actually motioned to the driver, no, I'm good. You don't do that in New York! Even on a bright sunny day, you don't do that! Again, someone else could grab that cab while it's stopped at the light and again there your cab goes.

But Michele did get that cab. Again it was pouring, you could hardly see. And again Michele got a Checker Cab! She gets in the cab and tells the driver she's going to Queens and starts to give her address when the driver says, I know such and such street, off of whatever avenue. Michele is freaked out. What's going on here? As he's telling her where she lives she's just saying, yes to each question and getting spooked big time! The driver realizes he's scaring her and tells her please don't be nervous, I drove you home about a year ago, we spoke the entire ride home and starts to remind her of certain parts of the conversation. Michele now remembers but still feels kind of weird, like is this guy a stalker, but again after a few minutes she again found herself engaged in wonderful conversation, very comfortable, easy to talk to this man.

Now what's the chance of getting the same cab driver two times, a year apart and pick-ups at two separate locations? What's the chance of that cab getting caught at the light, another cab pulling up to take Michele home on a dark rainy night in New York City, her waving that cab off, no one grabbing the cab stuck at the red light first? I mean really! The fates were at work here.

The driver of course is Emmet. And Emmet wasn't a stalker, never drove around her house or where he picked her up with his cab originally. She was on a date that night, at a restaurant, a place maybe she never went to again, who knows. I believe Michele and Emmet were meant to meet. He asked her out on a date when she was getting ready to get out of the cab the second time they met. She wasn't sure, still a little freaked out although she liked him, he was a nice guy. Emmet again sensed her getting nervous and said let's do lunch, you pick a place and we'll meet there. She did and they quickly fell in love, just meant to be together. They were dating and living together for quite a few years by the time I met Michele.

Emmet did see her across the street that rainy night. He recognized her and could not believe that she was standing there, out of all the cabs in New York City she hailed his cab! Even in the pouring rain. She was etched in his heart from the moment he met her.

I got to know Emmet and he was a great guy, very sweet. Michele and Emmet went away on vacation to Vermont while we were still co-workers and came back from that vacation with an engagement ring on her finger and another romantic story to share. Emmet took her on a horse-drawn sleigh ride on a snowy night. Michele noticed that Emmet seemed a little off. He kept asking the driver if they were half-way through the ride and was drinking the wine he had brought for them a little too quickly. Finally the driver said we're half-way and Emmet and Michele took a walk in the snowy woods with their wine and love to keep them warm but Emmet was still acting strange. Finally he just gulped down his wine and told her how much he loved her, how nervous he had been all day and days before, will you marry me, will you be with me forever. Michele said yes, the whole time never thinking he had any intention of asking her to marry him, surprised and elated.

Emmet and Michele had their wedding and reception in Manhattan and when Michele walked out of the church, there was a Checker Cab waiting to take Emmet and her to their reception. Such a romantic guy Emmet! Though I haven't seen them in years I believe they lived happily ever after.

Back In Time

I'm going back in time today. The year is 1973, I am 14 years old. I'm months away from graduating from grammar school at Saint Patrick's, Brooklyn, New York and unbelievably happy about leaving that school, though not my friends. From kindergarten to 8th grade there were always a few changes in my classmates, they juggled us around for many reasons, separating twins sometimes, trouble makers most times and maybe, just maybe, moving students into another class because the student would do much better with a different teacher. But over the years I attended St. Pat's I pretty much got to meet or sit next to most of my classmates. And there was the school yard where we lined up before school and after lunchtime. And before line up, you hung out, different grades had different corners of the school yard, in 8th grade, I think we had the corner by the stairs, that's my memory at least, so much has happened since then, there's lots of memories floating around my head.

At 14 years old and in the senior grade of school, I am cool just for being in the 8th grade. I'm ahead of all the other grades and of course I'm not even thinking that all too soon I'll be at the bottom again, starting over, feeling awkward again and not so cool.

I was lucky that there were a few girls that would be attending the same high school I was, but there were so many others who did not, well, all the boys, since I attended an all-girl Catholic high school in Staten Island, right over the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge. It was about a ten to fifteen minute ride. And then I moved from Brooklyn to Staten Island in my sophomore year of high school. Way out in Staten Island, the boonies, nothing but woods and more woods. Where you say "down the road" and "into town" instead of "up the street" or "on the avenue" and "to the stores". My ride to school now took at least an hour on a good day and too many days to count that it took hours. And I lost touch with pretty much everyone I knew in Bay Ridge Brooklyn. I did move back and forth from Staten Island to Brooklyn over the years but most time was spent here in Staten Island, I grew to love it here. It's no so country like it was, but if you want country there are so many beautiful parks pretty much within walking distance in all areas around the island.

But remember the old TV show Green Acres? The opening theme song was about the differences between the husband and wife (Eddie Albert and Eva Gabor playing Oliver and Lisa Douglas). By the way, may he rest in peace, but I helped Eddie Albert's son, Edward Albert, park his car one day in Manhattan. I didn't know who he was, I just saw a guy parking his convertible on the street and noticed he couldn't see if he had pulled the car back enough, I just walked to the curb and gave him universal hand language for "go on, you have room" and I walked away. My friend Marie said, did you know who that was? No. When she told me I thought that was cool, I helped a movie star and as a typical New Yorker didn't notice.

Well anyway, back to the Green Acres opening theme song, the wife loved the city life and the husband loved the country life. Staten Island was like the country to me. Well it was, especially for those living on the south shore in the early 70s. I saw people riding horses all the time, rabbits in the woods behind my house or the woods across the street. Learned what a possum was, sorry didn't dig the possums, kinda scary looking, but there was a possum in my backyard with a bunch of baby possums one night, their eyes glowing at me, I ran back inside real quick. We didn't have a back fence, there were just more woods behind the house and a dirt road where we could walk our dogs out there off the leash, it was nice for them being in the country. They were on the Oliver Douglas side of the city versus country life issue. But seeing those possums, I remembering thinking that was only something people like Granny talked about. Granny is from another old TV show, The Beverly Hillbillies, and she was always talking about cooking a possum!



Tonight I am going back in time to 1973, meeting two of my classmates that I haven't seen in 38 years. When I remember these girls, Kerry and Mary, they are still 14. I know what they look like now, I've seen their pictures on Facebook. But when I look at them, I still see 14 year olds. That's who they are to me. I know that will change after tonight. I'll go again Back in Time to today, to 2012, and Kerry and Mary will be pictured differently in my mind.

Kerry and Mary both attended the same high school and have remained friends all these years, since kindergarten and now are married with children and living not far away from each other still. I remember Mary as Mary Ann. She dropped the Ann when she attended high school and it's so weird for me to call her Mary. Again she's 14 in my memory and she's Mary Ann.

I reconnected with Kerry and Mary on Facebook. I love Facebook and I can also understand why some people don't. It all depends on what you use it for.

I've heard some people call themselves "Facebook Stalkers". They don't comment or write on their wall, they just look at their family and friends' pictures and posts. I don't think of them as stalkers, to me it's like reading a much better issue of People Magazine or movie/celebrity magazines. I'm reading about people I care about, I'm looking at their pictures, seeing their lives, their loves. I'm not a stalker. I put myself out there too. I comment sometimes, I share sometimes, but more times I'm reading what the people I like and love are posting. Again a much better read for me than a celebrity magazine. I go Back in Time to then and now in a moment. It's a great ride.

And tonight should be a blast, talking and sharing life stories with Kerry and Mary, remembering our past and then Back in Time to today.

Four Parties And A Funeral

It may sound strange, maybe you might think it's even inappropriate to talk about a funeral at the same time as a party. Not just one party but four parties. But that is where I found myself these last few days. It was days of celebrating my Aunt Ruth's life. Yes there were tears, many many tears, all of us mourning, but there was so much love and memories being shared that it was hard not to smile more than cry.

During the wake, among others speaking about Aunt Ruth's life, celebrating her life, my cousin Steven, one Aunt Ruth's three sons, spoke about how when his father, my Uncle Tom, died almost 20 years ago that he found it wasn't fair, that his father was taken too soon, that he didn't finish living his life. Steven just didn't understand. But he said with his mother it was different. He understood her life and that it was, not his words, but it was pretty much fair.

Steven, with a little help from his brothers, built Aunt Ruth's coffin as he did for his father so many years ago. Steven is a carpenter and the coffin was beautiful with two hands carved, Aunt Ruth's signature on her notes and letters, meaning I love you this much.

Aunt Ruth lived just a few months shy of her 79th birthday. She raised seven children, was blessed with 19 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren. She spent the last few years while her health had been failing, although still living life to its fullest, with her daughter Susan and granddaughter Kelly living right downstairs from her. Every day still having a small part of her family so close, seeing them every day. And the rest of the family weren't too far away either, some living just a short ride away and others a distance drivable to see her pretty often as well.

I've always known what an amazing women Ruth Young was but I learned even more hearing stories these past few days, getting more details from all those that truly loved her, people whose lives she touched in ways that most people aren't lucky enough to ever experience.

I knew that Aunt Ruth was older when she became an RN but I learned this weekend she was 50. 50 years old and she became a nurse. Started a second career, as I consider her raising seven children, working and volunteering prior to becoming a nurse a career as well. One of the hardest. God bless parents, especially stay-at-home moms and dads, who some people think they are so lucky, "don't work" and that it's so easy to stay home all day and watch kids. Ha, ha, ha I say. It is a rewarding job, but job it is and as much as you love your children, it's still the hardest job ever.

So Aunt Ruth becomes a nurse at 50, again what an achievement after all she had already done. She worked at Spaulding Rehab in Boston and retired from Rhode Island Hospital after the family moved there. She also did so much community service, worked for the Crystal Run School in the Catskills even before she became a nurse and at the time she was still raising the younger half of her seven children. My aunt and uncle also owned a restaurant at the time, another full time job, seven days a week. And while living in Rhode Island Aunt Ruth worked for The Insight Organization for the Blind and the PACE Organization of Rhode Island.

Aunt Ruth died in a peaceful way. Yes she did live the last couple of years sick and in pain but again continued to live, every day. When she was too sick she could have had some surgery to help prolong her life, she chose not to, a choice my mother didn't have when she died in 1986, she suffered terribly for no reason. Her cancer was incurable, it was everywhere and it was obvious there was no hope. But in 1986 there was no choice for people who were that sick.

Aunt Ruth chose palliative care which concentrates on the care of physical, emotional, spiritual, and social aspects of a patient in all stages of sickness, even those who can have treatments for curable illnesses or for those who live with chronic diseases, and those who are nearing the end of life.

Aunt Ruth's last few days were spent at home, with her family and friends who loved her like family. She was at times heavily medicated and not able to do more than sleep comfortably. But the times she was awake, she was surrounded with love, pictures, music, stories. She was able to say her goodbyes and made her family and friends understand that she was ready for this, that this was her choice.

How could we not celebrate this life without smiles and laughter and love. How could there not be a party when just the immediate family alone is so large. There were so many people just wanting to share a good story, a happy story, talk about yet another achievement in this extraordinary woman's life.

After the service there was a big celebration of Aunt Ruth's life, a truly happy celebration, yes a party. We danced, we performed skits recreating fun times we shared over the years, we told stories that included Aunt Ruth and some that just were because Aunt Ruth created this wonderful family. She touched so many lives in a LARGE way.

I got to know Aunt Ruth's older grandchildren better and one is more amazing than the other, smart, kind, beautiful inside and out. Aunt Ruth grew a wonderful family, influenced her family and friends with genuine simple love and so much giving. Aunt Ruth has caused this world to be a little better sharing her spirit and those she touched will pass along a little piece of Aunt Ruth to the people in their lives, as I will. Ruth Young will live on in so many ways, in so many lives.

My Dear Trish, I've Only Just Moved

We may never be able to see each other the way we did before I moved. We can't hug each other and talk to each other the way it was before, but my dear daughter, I've only just moved.

I've moved to a place that is hard for you to imagine, even harder for you to understand. Where I moved is so much like what people dream and imagine, yet more and different, something it's not time for you to understand. You're not ready. No one living where you do is ready.

I know how much you miss me. I know you think of me often and wish I could have been with you longer, as much as you were an adult when I moved, you were still just my little girl and needed me. I know you need me still.

Just know that I am with you. I am in your heart and soul. I've always been there and I know sometimes you feel me and you question yourself. You think, was that you mom. Yes Trish it's me.

I moved to a place where I am not sick, not sad, not young and not old. I am more. I'm a daughter here, a sister and a mom, a wife, and a great grand daughter, a great great great grand daughter, a cousin, a niece and again, more than you can understand from where you've living. Yet always remember all those parts of me are in you, they always were, from the time you started becoming you, inside of me.

I remember when I told you I was remarrying after your father had moved here. You were so happy for me, right away. But you did ask me what I would do when I got here. You said, but mom what will happen when we all go to heaven, who will you be married to. I told you not to worry about that, somehow it would all be okay.

I didn't really know the answer that day. But it's one of those questions that I answered the right way. I told you everything would be okay and that's all you wanted to know. Now I know the answer and I can tell you again that's it's okay, it's more than okay but also so hard for me to explain to you any better than that.

When there's a warm breeze blowing your hair out of your face and beautiful brown eyes, that's me pushing your hair out of your face and especially your eyes so you can see me. When your heart soars with so much happiness and you're filled with love, I am part of the beats of your heart. When you cry, I am always hugging you. Try to feel it, it's different than it was before but I know if you try, you will feel me.

Remember I've only just moved my Trish, but I am with you more now than I was when we lived in the same place and it will be a long time before you fully understand.

Just keep me in your heart for now and remember I'm always in yours. And by the way, Aunt Ruth arrived last night, there were so many of us here to greet her and she feels the love like we all do.

Love Mom

I dedicate today's blog to my cousins, the Young's, the Oniskey's, any who are family and friends to the Young's, those Young at Heart.

Their mom, grandmother, great grandmother, cousin, friend, my Aunt Ruth moved last night.

I hope they all see, hear, sense, and feel her as I have learned to do.

Young at Heart

I've had a lot of different emotions these last few days it's been hard for me to concentrate on much else.

As I've mentioned my Aunt Ruth is very sick, at home now with all of her family spending time just loving them when she is strong enough to be awake.

I'm very sad of course, my heart is breaking for myself and for my cousins, the Young family, as I've said so many times we are related through love, not blood.

"Young at Heart" means so much more than just facing everything you do and feel with a child's pure heart, for me it also means being a Young. An actual family, my family and having them in your heart, the song is fitting and I will forever think of all of them whenever I hear the song.



I've also been remembering so many good times in my life, my life with the Young family and it would be like a movie you would come out saying, that was good, but that's not real life. We just had good times, simple, old fashioned good times, surrounded by genuine love.

We made up games, we sang songs every car ride. I remember one time my Uncle Tom turned off the lights for just a second while driving on this really dark, hilly road, scaring us all but thrilling us at the same time. There was another road, Uncle Tom didn't turn his lights off but it was so hilly, up and down, like a real life roller coaster. My cousin Teresa was just a baby and she didn't dig it at all, might have even got sick from the ride.

Teresa was a hoot as a kid, wild child! She's grown into a wonderful woman, much like her mother. I can remember going to a 4th of July fireworks show out in Long Island somewhere. Teresa kept her hands over her ears the whole time and still when we got home, she didn't dig it.

Uncle Tom eased my fear for holding a sparkler on the 4th of July. He had a giant sparkler and let me use that as my first try the lit end so far away from me. I was delighted and never afraid of sparklers again.

I remember my cousin Elizabeth playing a game with her younger brother Anthony, having him jump over leaves that were covering poop. Yes poop. She eventually moved the leaves and Anthony landed and slipped in the poop. Liz was so scared she was going to get in trouble and hid in the garage. Scared the daylights out of my aunt and uncle, looking, searching and not finding her. By the time they did find her any trouble she could have been in was over, she was safe in her parents' arms.

Although not big in Brooklyn while I was growing up, the delivery of newspapers and milk to your front door was a regular thing in Long Island. There was a time my cousins Tommy and Steven had newspaper routes and I remember going along with them one morning and sitting in the big bag where the papers were kept helping them out and having so much fun. I didn't have to do it everyday but I enjoyed the few times I did.

The Young's had a piano and although sadly I never learned to play I could play a few easy little tunes on the piano, learning again something else from this amazing family. At one time there was an old fashioned player piano, just another thing that was special, interesting. Something I've never seen again.



My cousins had steel drums and I remember them teaching me the first few notes of Yellow Bird. Probably the first 5 seconds!



The Young's lived in Long Island and that's where our families joined together but they eventually moved upstate to the Catskills and now they are all settled in Rhode Island.

The times we had in the Catskills were great times too. One house they lived in was all alone on a dark road. No neighbors for at least a mile or two on one side and a cemetery on the other. Of course we visited the cemetery, we were kids checking out a scary place.

Their house was huge, three floors. The downstairs had like three huge living room sections. One night while visiting, our parents were at the restaurant Aunt Ruth and Uncle Tom owned and there were a bunch of us kids home waiting for pizza to be brought back and playing cards and board games while waiting. Laura was the oldest of us at home that night and she was probably about 15. We ended up scaring ourselves to death over the cemetery that night. I remember Laura laughing at us but we were all hiding and eventually we called our parents, come home, there are ghosts making noises in the house.

The wind was making noises and our imaginations were going wild. And as much as Laura was laughing that night, she agreed to calling our parents so I'm thinking she was a little scared herself!

My cousin Steven gave me my first and last ride on a motorcycle. My mom had told me no, did not want me to go on the motorcycle when I asked if I could. Didn't listen. I went for a five minute ride, upstate, in the mountains with my cousin who was probably about 19 at the time, daredevil age! I was flipping out from the second we took off, wanting to go back home right away. I think it took me a few minutes to be able to speak to tell Steven to stop and take me home. When I walked in the house my mother took one look at my face and said, you went on that motorcycle didn't you. I said yes. And she said I know you'll never do that again. Again my mother was right saying no in the first place and right again knowing I would never do it again.

When I spoke to my sister Debbie this week she was of course as upset as me but was also feeling the loss of our mom even more. Aunt Ruth reminds her of our mom as she does for me, and Debbie just feels like we're losing another piece of our mom. I understand. But as my niece Bella told her dad and her brothers just recently, our loved ones that we lost live inside us, our loved ones still living, they live inside us.

So that's me, I may be a Gillen by birth but I'm a Young at Heart.

The Wizard of Art

They say...

"They say", there's always a "they" having something to say. Is that not true?

But "they" say, you should write what you know. I know a lot of little things and some big things but one thing for sure I know is that I have a lot more to learn. I wish I had the attitude I have now about learning when I was in grammar school. I didn't feel any true inspiration from any teacher in grammar school. There were a few good, kind teachers who made some of my lessons fun, but again none who inspired me, made me thirsty for knowledge and what I could do with that knowledge.

Though I didn't know it so much in high school, I guess the most inspiring teacher was my art teacher. I always liked her, right from the start, and we became very good friends over the years. She was young, hip and very creative in so many different aspects of art. My music teacher was also an awesome teacher but unfortunately she taught me one of life's tough lesson's, one that I still have to remind myself of to this day, life's not fair. She had her favorites. I'm not saying any of these girls that she chose over me weren't talented, but I wasn't one of her favorites. Being a bit of a mischievous student I'm sure added to me not being one of her favorites but I know it was more than that. Let's just say that she taught me a little more than life's not fair.

But my art teacher wasn't like that. I think being so creative she saw a chance in all of us, appreciated our individuality, never criticized, just taught us with patience and shared what she knew.

I remember making Christmas stamps. Not stamps like you would paste on an envelope. A rubber stamp, that you rub into an ink pad and then stamp an image onto paper. It was so much fun just learning how to make the stamp. It didn't matter that my stamp wasn't perfect, the whole process of learning and creating was fun, made me want to know what else this wonderful teacher knew.

We made glasses out of bottles. First learning how to cut glass, again just learning the process so interesting. We cut the glass and then used sand paper to smooth out the cut edges, glued the bottom half of the bottle as the stem to the bottom half of the bottle turned upside down.

We all created beautiful glasses, each unique. I remember us all being so impressed that we were able to do this, with what we had created.

She is a photographer and taught many of the girls so much about photography, before the digital age, when you had to develop film in a dark room, again sharing more of her knowledge along with passion and you felt it in all her lessons. I know one student for sure who took it further, is a photographer today and credits Mrs. Arena with giving her the extra inspiration to follow her dream.

Denise Arena still teaches to this day. She owns a cool shop in the Great Kills area of Staten Island, New York. It's called of course The Wizard of Art. And a wizard she is. I stopped by a couple of times to say hello in the last few years and just the feel of the shop reminded me of my art classes from long ago. One of the days I stopped by she was creating a centerpiece, all sneakers. Though she didn't use real sneakers, her design was original, and I think whoever bought that was astonished with what she could do with their request to create something artsy out of sneakers.

I was in the Glee Club in high school and Mrs. A, led the stage crew in designing the best scenery for our shows, again making even the least artistic person feel like they had created a masterpiece or at the very least, having been a part of creating a work of art.

Again she has a great art shop in Great Kills, teaches art classes for many ages and does all kinds of stuff for parties. Here are just a couple samples of her amazing work. A coach entrance way a la Cinderella and the dais and table settings inside matching. I could just imagine a little girl coming to her party and feeling like a princess. Please check out her web page, if you live in Staten Island, sign your kid up for art lessons, open a wonderful creative world for them.




From what I've heard you can also have children's birthday parties there for your little artists. What a great party, having fun and bringing home a unique work of art. Spending a day using their imagination and creativity.

If you're having a party, any theme you can come up with, she will astonish you with her designs! Another great woman to be admired! I'm lucky to have had a teacher like her.

One of my nieces is a teacher and though of course I'm prejudiced, I believe she has a passion to teach children and will be talked about by her students years from now. She's looked up to by her nieces, her younger cousins and has patience with them, she's interested in what they have to say. All the initial signs of a good teacher in my book.

And I will say teachers are underpaid. I don't care if they have the summers off from work. They teach our children. Shape our future. They deserve so much more. And tenure? Well I believe if you continue to earn and deserve that tenure it should be yours, but if not, there's so many hungry, out-of-work teachers who are just waiting to have a chance to be the wizards in some student's life. I say give them the chance if a tenured teacher isn't pulling their weight.

Just my opinion...

Ruth Gruber "Ahead of Time"

Early this morning I was watching a funny movie on Showtime and the next movie that came on was Ahead of Time. I was captivated instantly.

The 2010 movie is a documentary about Ruth Gruber. Talk about ahead of her time. Ruth is my kind of woman, she chose the life she wanted with all the obstacles of the time and world in which she was raised. Ruth was the youngest person of her times to receive a PhD, the youngest person, not the youngest woman. Of Jewish heritage, she lived in Brooklyn and was expected to get married and have children. Although her father, also way ahead of his times, did tell his daughters that they needed to have some kind of skills to fall back on if God forbid their husbands died. He told Ruth she could be a secretary or a school teacher. Ruth didn't want that, she wanted to see the world, she wanted to be a writer. She became more than a writer.

She received her PhD in Germany prior to the war, actually witnessed Nazi rallies and brought this information back with her to America, warning people of the atrocities occurring in Germany. She escorted Holocaust refugees to America in 1944, she covered the Nuremberg trials in 1946. Read up on this extraordinary woman, writer, journalist, doer. Watch the movie Ahead of Time.

Ruth eventually did get married in 1951 and had two children but continued her travels and writing. An outstanding woman. Again she didn't just become a writer, she lived a big life and wrote about it. Why did I not hear of her until today? And why do I know who Lady Gaga is? Ruth Gruber made a difference in so many people's lives. A woman young girls should learn and know about. This older girl just learned so much herself. But seriously young girls should learn about Ruth Gruber in school, there should be more movies about her, this is the kind of woman that should be looked up to, admired, someone I would want my young child to aspire to be like. Ruth is 98 in the documentary Ahead of Time, sharp as ever and funny.

It's amazing what you can do when you put your mind to it. I've always felt good about taking one baby step toward a goal. Succeeding one step and then moving to the next. But after learning about Ruth Gruber I believe I should set my goals higher, take giant steps and leaps to what I want, who I want to be, even at my age.

If I Could Just Have One Moment

If I could just have one moment of your time. One moment where you just say a simple "feel well" in your head for a stranger, for anyone, young and old, suffering and in pain. Just one moment.

I heard today that my dear Aunt Ruth is very sick. An amazing woman.



I have been blessed with one of the best aunts in the world, my Aunt Libby. She has been a part of my life since I can remember. She lived with us until I was 5 and we even shared a room, happy for me, a pain for Aunt Libby as I was always getting in her stuff. Aunt Libby is my mom's sister and though I never thought they looked alike, I see so much of my mom in Aunt Libby's beautiful face. She has been a sister, an aunt, a friend and a little bit of my mom, how lucky I was born into my family.

My Aunt Ruth is not related by blood or marriage. Aunt Ruth was an extra added attraction to my life and my family's life. She was our next door neighbor for the short time we lived in Deer Park, Long Island, about 4 years. It was just after I was born that we moved there and my younger sister Linda was born a couple of years later and Aunt Ruth is her godmother.

There was a bond created with my family and the family next door since the day we became neighbors and it lasts to this day. I wrote about the Young Family in my blog called Goodnight John Boy, as this family is as warm and welcoming and pure as the Walton family from the television show. To know them is to love them, just wonderful people.

Aunt Ruth is again an amazing woman. She went back to school for her nursing degree after raising a family of seven children. Worked so hard and lovingly for years as a nurse. Even after retiring, she volunteered and spread her love and care wherever she could. Aunt Ruth is one of those people who was just meant to be a nurse, a caregiver. She is a mom, a grandmother and a great grandmother. She is an aunt, a cousin, a friend, one of God's true gifts and I am so blessed to be part of her life.

I write today to ask you to say a prayer for her comfort. Though she is in the hospital right now, she just wants to come home and is choosing palliative care which just focuses on relieving pain and any suffering for different stages of sickness. If there is any place she could be to have that kind of care it is in her home, with her loving family. But an extra prayer or more can't hurt.

I'm hoping and praying that Aunt Ruth's good health is returned and she is back cradling her great grandchildren, being cuddled by her children and her grandchildren.

But mostly I hope and pray for her comfort. I've taken more than a moment for my Aunt Ruth but did take a little time to send well wishes for anyone who is sick, young and old, anyone suffering. I hope and pray that no one, not any of us ever suffer any needless pain. And family members who are watching their loved ones suffer, my prayers go out to all of you too.

Tray Riding at Villa

I've written before that I attended an all-girl Catholic high school in Staten Island, New York. St John Villa Academy. I loved Villa and as much fun as I had, I also received a great education.

But fun was my purpose for attending Villa, my reason for getting good grades (my parents would take me out if I didn't), the reason I never faked sick again to get out of going to school. Fun.

I had a bunch of silly, fun friends, but my biggest cohort for fun and trouble-making was my friend Linda. Linda and I had a way of pushing things almost too far. The fact that we were always so respectful when caught, accepted our punishment and really didn't do "bad" things, just extremely mischievous and funny, helped the teachers and staff more than put up with us, I think most of them really liked us, got a kick out of our antics. I say most, because I know there were a few who definitely did not like me.



I remember one time I had a water pistol ring. It looked like a big fake diamond ring and I walked up to a nun while she was just about to start teaching her class. I said, look at my beautiful new ring, she did and I squirted her right in the face. Of course she took my ring away, I got demerits (the box for "other" always the one chosen for my demerits, as there wasn't a category for squirting a nun in the face with a fake diamond ring). But when I went to the office after the school day to collect my demerits and hopefully get my ring back, the dean actually chuckled as she gave me my demerits, barely getting the question out, "Tricia, did you really squirt Sister So and So in the face?" That's all I needed, she laughed which just made me laugh more. I got my ring back!

My friend Linda stayed friends with a few of the sisters from Villa and years later they told her there were many mornings when it was snowing, school would be closed, and they would all be talking at breakfast in the convent about how they were looking forward to a quiet day. Then one of them would say no, Gillen and Harris will be here, they'll show up knowing school is closed. We did. We had to go to school only to be told to go home. We had to make sure it was closed, had to make sure we didn't miss an opportunity to cause some minor trouble.

Snow time at Villa was even more fun. There was a big hill below the convent that went down onto a stone path which was surrounded by a stone wall, about 2 feet high. Sleigh riding on that hill was the most fun, well tray riding, we didn't have any sleighs at school.

Tray riding is tricky. You can't steer and you can't stop. And coming down off a wall and then onto a stone path could cause some minor or major damage. Luckily we never got hurt since it wasn't exactly an approved sport at school. You would come flying down that hill, hit the wall part which would give the tray and you a little lift up, made you soar. Unfortunately you landed on the stone path, hard! But we were teenagers, the pain was worth it.

We had to swipe the lunch trays from the cafeteria and at first it was no big deal, we had our lunch and instead of putting the trays back we went tray riding. Eventually we were caught, I mean we were doing it right outside the convent windows. I can only imagine one of the nuns taking a moment to look out the window at a beautiful snowy hill and trees and seeing girls flying up over a stone wall onto a stone path. The lunch trays were under guard now. Linda and I especially watched during lunchtime! Although, there was the grammar school cafeteria! No one knew about Linda and me in there, well not at first. We went in there for our trays one snowy day only to be facing one of the guards from our cafeteria, shaking her head. No more tray riding.

Linda and I had gotten many tray rides in and I guess the tray guards saved us both from back pain, bone damage or worse. I don't think we even got demerits for that one.

In the right conditions tray riding can be lots of fun! Make sure there are no obstacles in your path, that you come down the hill in a large, cleared area that is flat and will naturally slow you down. That's the smart thing to do.

Funny how things change when you grow up.

The more you learn, the more you realize how little you know…
- attributed to Socrates, by Plato

Thank you lunch tray guards!

Snow Much Fun

I have so many pictures. I've spent days just putting them on dvds to make sure I don't lose them. I used to print a contact sheet of all the pictures but stopped doing that because it was just too much work. I've created quite a few movie dvds, about 30 minutes in length. I use family pictures, friends' pictures and add music. It's a nice gift for my family and friends and for myself. I sit down, start the dvd and go down memory lane, or just back to yesterday, have a few laughs, maybe some tears too, I enjoy looking at my photos like this, and the music sets the tone, makes looking at them even better.

But making those movie dvds is a lot of work, takes time to gather up all the photos I want to use, the music that will fit with the photos, timing, it's not something I can do with all my photos and sometimes life gets busy, crazy, I just don't have the time.

But something I started doing was just grabbing a few photos, capturing a small moment in time and creating a short video. I post them on YouTube and they are there forever and I can watch them whenever I want and my family and friends can see them as well. As can anyone, mine are for public view but you can create an account and set your account for private viewing only.

It's a great way to save your pictures, adding the music again setting the tone of the pictures. They are there forever, catalogued for you as well. Generations from now, your family can look on YouTube and find those little moments in life where you took a few photos, photos taken for a reason, capturing a moment of your life. So many times our photos get lost. Even with today's technology, as great as it is, we take pictures on our cell phones, awesome cameras small enough to fit in your pocket so you can use it anytime, but we leave them on the memory cards, download them on our computer only to be overwhelmed by how many we have and don't really look at them, enjoy them, share them.

Our cell phones can crash, or we lose them. Our computers crash. Great pictures, great memories but they are never to be seen again.

Below is just a short video of a special family day.

I have a big family and we don't get to see each other as much as we want but for many years now my sister Linda and her husband Bob have hosted a family day party the week before Christmas. As many of us that can make it do and it's a wonderful celebration of family. The setting is perfect, something out of a Hallmark movie. We had a lot of snow this particular year, the fireplace was burning and crackling all day, with Casper, one of my sister's pups, sitting as close to the fireplace as possible. He just loves the fireplace.

There's always music playing softly in the background, laughter, eating...eating...eating. Oh so many desserts! A great time for all, from the youngest to the oldest family member.

Over the years I have watched some of my nieces and nephews go from playing with the kids, sitting in the kitchen with the kids for dinner and now they are at the grown-up table, actually wanting to be a part of our conversations, closing the generation gap.

Keep taking those pictures but try to find a place to store them, someplace safe, someplace where you can find them and your family and friends can too. I find YouTube a good place for me, especially when adding music. Years from now not only will the pictures say something about you and to you, the music will too.

This I call Snow Much Fun. Enjoy!

Giant Joy Continued

I didn't post yesterday because I was waiting for my brother Joey to stop by my house so he could upload some photos and videos he had taken on his iphone at the Giant game Sunday night. He got here kind of late. We had looked at the pictures and videos the night of the game, but Joey didn't have the hook-up for his phone, so we couldn't download them on to my computer that night. But I just wanted to continue a bit more with the Giant game theme and a special moment in time that my brother had with his boys this past weekend.

Sunday he took his sons, Robert and Jojo, to their first football game...the New York Giants. How lucky, their first game, their favorite team and a big win. It was, to say the least, an absolutely awesome and memorable day, for Joey and his boys.

After Joey dropped the boys off with their mom Sunday night he stopped by my apartment as I live upstairs from the boys and their sister Bella. Been here since before the divorce...if it's not broken, why fix it? But he was showing me his pictures and a few videos he filmed to show me the excitement of the game. As he's flipping through the videos he comes upon one that he didn't film, didn't see Jojo film it. As usual our Jojo, he can be so quiet and soulful and mushy as well as off-the-wall funny, smart, sharp and sly. And he's charming.

A few years ago I was watching all three of the kids and putting them to bed. They all were in their parents bed, watching TV, winding down a bit before lights out. Of course I'm super easy with them, they can con me easily. But I was downstairs relaxing, because as anyone who knows about kids, three kids, probably 7, 5 and 3 at the time, I was exhausted after spending a few hours with them. Just needed to not think for five minutes, not hear, just chill, was drinking a bottle of water.

So I'm downstairs for I'm sure less than five minutes when either Bella or Robert is telling on Jojo for something, and probably Bella, such a girl! I go upstairs, still holding the bottle of water, as well as my cell phone. Whenever I watch these kids, to this day, all I say when they push me too far, again because I'm way too easy, is I'm calling your father, so I have my phone with me. Holstered at my hip! With their dad, when he says stop, it usually stops.

Whatever Jojo was doing I told him to stop and he, out of the three of them, can get me with with a look, his charm radiates off of him, like his father, to know him, is to love him. I said come on, we had a nice night, it's time for bed, do you really want me to call your father and I take a drink of water.

In one of the Austin Powers movies, one of Mike Meyer's characters says "father" with a silly accent, kinda sounds like fazzure. So again I was asking Jojo if he wanted me to call his father and he looks at me so seriously but with the Austin Powers' accent, "Call my fazzure, I don't care." Robert and Bella were ready to burst with laughter but looked at me first, was I going to laugh? I spit the water out of my mouth cracking up and Robert and Bella joined in. He got me that Jojo. The three of them are funny, but Jojo's got that extra oomph.

My brother Bob told me that recently he came to see the kids at their dad's house. They were all playing outside with the neighborhood kids, a nice size gang on the street they live on. Bob said something, a comment about what they were doing and none of them paid him any attention or if they did it was a look like, are you from another planet. As Bob is walking inside the house he hears Jojo real low but loud enough for all to hear, "awkward." He has timing. Doesn't need to push his humor most of the time. He's a kid, he does get crazy and can push the best of us to the edge, but again for the most part, this kid has comedic timing down pat and the things he says just get you.

I didn't call their dad that night, the comic interlude brought them all up wide awake and they crashed down just as fast, even Jojo.

So getting back to the golden find on Joey's iphone. Joey was flipping through the videos and when he played this one his heart just soared, as did mine. Just a few seconds of Jojo expressing his Giant Joy.

Jojo says it, means it and shows it, this was a Giant Day, a Giant Memory!

I love a line from the Billy Joel song These Are The Times To Remember:

This is the time to remember
Cause it will not last forever.

How true...

Now This Is Fantasy Football

GIANT GAME INTERRUPTED BY YOUNG BOY ON THE FIELD
January 8, 2012

EAST RUTHERFORD, N.J. - The Giant game today versus the Atlanta Falcons was interrupted by a young boy running on the field almost being tackled himself. The kid jumped from the stands onto the field without anyone noticing, fast, agile, he was part of the game before anyone could stop him.

It was unknown who the child was until the fans were going wild, chanting "Jojo, Jojo, Jojo". The chanting began in the upper deck where Jojo had started his trek down onto the field. His family and friends started the chanting before even seeing his face on the giant screen. Knowing Jojo, they knew it was him. The chanting grew. Before long the chanting was coming from every corner of the stadium, "Jojo, Jojo, Jojo".

Security didn't notice Jojo right away. Just 9 years old, this kid was in the midst of giant men, running under their legs and moving so fast even the players weren't sure what was going on. Wait a minute, is there a kid out here?

Now most sports fans know that jumping on the playing field can lead to being thrown out of the stadium and being arrested. But this is a 9 year old kid. Who's going to throw him out of the stadium, who's going to arrest a 9 year for fulfilling his fantasy football dream.

By the time security came on the field the players gathered all together, put Jojo up on their shoulders, carrying him off the field, chanting along with the crowd. Jojo was in his glory, pumping his fists in the air screaming "go Giants"! The crowd was loving this kid, there was no way security could do anything to stop it. The kid had the entire stadium in the palm of his hands.

The players passed Jojo back into the stands, keeping security from catching him. Jojo's father and brother Robert were waiting for him, both smiling as well as shaking their heads saying "that's our Jojo".

Jojo's father and brother were questioned by reporters after the game. What was Jojo thinking they asked. His father replied, "That's my son, he just has a way getting into anything and anywhere he wants. I took him to a Wagner College basketball game not long ago and as I'm watching the game, I see my son helping himself to the Gatorade set up on the sidelines of the court for the Wagner team.* He's not trying to be sneaky, he was just thirsty, saw the Gatorade and cups and helped himself. It's just Jojo". When his brother Robert was asked what he thought of his younger brother he said "That's my brother Jojo, if something pops in his head, he just does it. I guess today he's famous, huh?"

Yes, I say, this kid made a Giant leap into fame today!

*This part of the story is not fantasy, Jojo did help himself to the Gatorade. And maybe the entire story wont be fantasy. Anyone who knows my nephew is betting on him somehow getting on that field. I'm even going to watch the game just in case he does show up!

Giant Game, Giant Man, Giant Memories

The other night my brother Joey was putting his youngest child, Bella, to bed and decided to lay down and talk and cuddle before she fell asleep. A minute later his oldest, Robert, climbed into bed with the two of them and my brother was in his glory. And then came Jojo, the middle child, and he looked at the three of them in Bella's tiny bed wanting so much to join them but not seeing any room. My brother said, you want to get in on this don't you? Get in, there's room for all of us. The four of them in Bella's little bed, cuddling and talking.

They were talking about family, specifically my parents, and I think Robert said, I wish I knew them. And Bella, so smart, says, you do know them. Pounding her little hand on my brother's chest, she said "they're in here." I could cry just thinking of her knowing that. She's only 7. She said we know them because daddy does things that they taught him and now he does those things with us. They're right here, again touching Joey's chest, his heart. I'm sure my brother was tearing up, he's a mush too. But I love that Bella understands that, taught her older brothers something so important. We may lose our loved ones but they are with us, inside us, forever.

Joey is very much like my father Bo. Bo was a giant man, he married my mom after my biological father died. He became a father to me and my five siblings, raised us. Joey is his biological son, but I never felt any difference, I was his daughter. Again a giant man.

Joey is a giant man. He's a wonderful father and even before he became a father there wasn't a kid that wasn't just drawn to him. He's 42 and when you watch him play with his kids, his nieces and nephews, he's one of them, he plays, he's silly. I have a friend and years ago her son had a friend who was deaf. They all came to my brother's house one day for a BBQ and to swim in the pool. This kid was in love with my brother in five minutes, constantly asking my friend when he could go back and see Joey again. He saw the giant man in Joey and he met Bo too. Just like Bella says.

This is a giant weekend for Joey and his kids.

On Saturday Bella receives the sacrament of Reconciliation. When I was a kid it was called our First Confession. What sins a 7 year old has to confess, I don't know, but I guess it's a start in learning about sins, about people who don't know right from wrong and keeping Bella on the right path. It's an important event in Bella's young life.

And on Sunday Joey is taking his sons to the New York Giants play-off game! The boys are so excited but I don't think it compares with my brother's excitement. When he told me he got the tickets, he talked about two major sports moments in his life that live in his heart in a giant way.

My parents took him to a Wagner College basketball game. By the way, another great thing to do in Staten Island. Wagner College has some great sport events, as well as terrific shows from their theatre department. It's a beautiful campus and the school spirit is infectious!

So my parents took Joey to a game without having tickets. When they got there, the place was packed and there were no tickets to be bought. Joey was so upset and a man came up to him and said, I have three tickets. Joey ran to my father and said a man has three tickets! Bo went up to the guy and said how much? The man said nothing, enjoy the game. My father tried to give him money, what can I do for you, you made my son's night, please take something. But the man just wanted to give. There are so many good people out there, we all have to remember that.

Joey said the game was amazing. Wagner lost but it didn't make any difference to him, again the spirit inside that gym was something you couldn't help but feel. It's a giant memory in Joey's life, a wonderful fun night spent with his mother and father.

Years later, in 1986, the year our mom passed away, my father had season tickets for the New York Mets. It was the Mets' year, they won the World Series and Joey says remembering going to those games with my father is giant, fills him with so much happiness and he's flooded with memories of the smallest details.

Sunday is Joey's, Robert's and Jojo's giant day in more ways than just going to a game. This will be a memory that will always be so fresh in their minds they can play it like a movie in their head, they will feel themselves being there, they will smell the smells of the day, feel the cold, the smallest details will come alive whenever they think of this game.

Giant Game, Giant Man, Giant Memories.