Cause we're cousins, identical cousins and you'll find...

A few months after I was born my family moved from Brooklyn to Long Island and my Aunt Libby was still living with us at that time too. My father loved it, my mom and Aunt Libby not so much. They grew up in Brooklyn, as did my dad, but it was a different way of life out there and they missed their lives in Brooklyn, family still lived in the neighborhood, being able to walk to all kinds of stores, and even our only grandma still lived in Brooklyn too.

I really don't remember living in Long Island as we moved back to Brooklyn when I was just about 5. But during that time we lived close to my father's brother and his family and spent so much time together. We all loved each other very much, and though I just have some blurred memories of being together as kids I remember their house, their yard, which of course seemed to be so big. The swings were behind a big bunch of trees and we called it the forest. They had a teepee back there too, but my biggest memory is the red cardboard brick blocks in the front room. We loved to play with those blocks, all of us making forts and enjoying this simple toy for hours. And most of all I always remembered the love we had for each other.

As I've written before, it is so hard to keep in touch with all the people in our lives. Even our own families. One of my brothers lives in Florida and I hardly get to see him or his family. When we do get together it's even better than it was growing up. Our age differences don't matter anymore. We love watching all our nieces and nephews loving each other, loving their family. We really are an especially close family. My brother in law Mike used to joke that we made the Waltons look dysfunctional!

Even with my sisters. Before they were moms we talked on the phone pretty much every day. My brothers-in-laws couldn't understand what we possibly could have to talk about every day and for so long. Now my sisters are moms, they work, they have so much going on with their kids. I work weird hours, we don't have phone conversations that often any more. It just happens, not because you don't care or don't want to speak to each other, there's just too much going on in our lives. Before the job I have now, I spent 4 hours a day just commuting to and from work, that took out a big chunk of my time.

Facebook, I know, has created problems for people, marriages, friendships, kids bullying, etc. But for me it has been a wonderful way to find old friends, to every once in a while just say "hi" which for me means I know you're out there, just letting you know I care, you're in my heart. Even just the intial hello and not being in contact after that, we've acknowledged that we meant something to each other in our journey through life.

Unfortunately my family lost touch with our cousins in Long Island. My dad died, my mom remarried, our grandmother also passed away, then my cousins' dad, my Uncle Bill, passed away as well. We were growing up, we had friends and lives in our own neighborhoods, school, social activities, we should have made the time, but again I know how hard it is, even with your own family.

From the time I started being on line, I started searching for my cousins. I didn't know Sandra's married name but I did know Wendy's, I searched for years, and at one point I did find Sandra but it was a time we were both going through so much in our lives and again we lost touch. I searched on and off for years and because of Facebook I found them last year.

It has been an amazing year!

I talked to both Wendy and Sandra on the phone days after my first contact on Facebook. They both live in Colorado and at the time Wendy's daughter was due to give birth to her first child and was coming to New York as soon as her grandchild arrived. Of course she had to spend most of her time with her little grandson, Evan, the next generation of our family! But on her way back to Colorado we planned to meet.


We met at Grand Central Station by the big clock. I saw her first, and just from just from behind I could tell it was her. I waited a minute or so before approaching her, watching her look for me and I could tell she was as excited as me to be together again. It was a short visit, maybe about an hour, but it was wonderful, not awkward, very comfortable right away, we were a loving family, we never lost that.

Then in May Sandra came to New York for her friend's wedding and I was invited as her guest. She added a few days on to her trip and we had a small family reunion and again not awkward, we all got along just like we did as kids. And Steven came too. Unfortunately they, like us, lost a brother. We lost Michael and they lost Doug, both of whom I know would have been so happy to be together again, they were big time buddies as kids.


When Sandra was here it was amazing to find out how much we had in common, so many things. Even before she was here, I would be sending her an email and as I was hitting send on my email, my phone would beep that I just received a text and who was it from but Sandra. This has happened so many times I can't tell you. It happened again this morning.

She came here for a friend's wedding, a friend she met at her first job at Burger King, which was also my first job. When she was unpacking her bag, I looked at a pair of her shoes and asked if she just got them, she did, I went in my closet and showed her my new shoes, the very same ones. We found ourselves answering questions exactly the same way, at the same time. We are very much family!

We had a wonderful few days together, talking about our pasts, our present and our future together. She's even petite like me, as is Wendy, and I have to bust their chops about being smaller than me. I've always been the marker in my family as far as height is concerned. For each of my nieces and nephews it has been a milestone in their lives when they are taller than me, mostly by the time they are 10 to 12 years old! But now it's Wendy. She's the tinest and I'm taller than two members of my family!

When Sandra was here we also went to see her mom. My Aunt Joan is 85 years old and though she is in tremendous shape physically, she suffers from Alzheimers. Such a sad horrible disease. Here she is this beautiful, physically healthy woman and she doesn't know who her family is, even who she is. I will say that while I was visiting her, there were three times that I saw recognition in her face and she actually said to me "I knew the girl who was sitting there before." I don't know who she thought I was, I look a lot like her daughter Wendy and very much like my mom, she could have thought I was either of them, or maybe she did recognize me, but whoever she thought I was, she knew it was someone who loved her, I could see her whole face light up. I wish we had connected before this happened to my aunt, I would have loved to talk to her as an adult. She was a very organized woman, a classy dresser and beautiful. After our grandmother died she took all her pictures and put them together in a book. Steven brought the book to our little reunion and looking through these pictures was a blast. My grandparents in their younger days and all of us, my brothers and sisters, pictures of us growing up, our school photos, all pictures that we would have lost had they been in our house! We were always going through our boxes of pictures, taking them, not putting most back and now so many are gone. But Aunt Joan saved all that for us too, again we're family.

We just had another family reunion. Wendy came back to New York for her grandson's first birthday and her brother Steven and his fiance Nancy hosted a BBQ at their home when she first arrived. Steven and Nancy live in the house my cousins grew up in and being there was like coming home. The yard was smaller, the forest was just a few trees and the swings and the teepee are gone, the inside of the house has changed somewhat, but certain things are the same, it was surreal being there.

My sister Linda, brother Bob and his wife Janet also came to the BBQ and everyone was blown away at how much Wendy and I look alike and more act alike. It was amazing even for me, watching this woman use her hands while she talked, the expressions on her face, the way her whole tiny body moved while she talked, it was like I was watching myself in the mirror!

We may have missed a lot of years together, but none of us forgot the love we had and still have for each other. We are family and nothing will separate us now!!!

I'm so lucky!!!

I took my own advice...

Yesterday I wrote about my love of the rain and how we should all go outside and act like a kid again, dance and sing in the rain, splash in the puddles!

Well I did just that.

I mentioned that my car broke down and though it did start up again, it ended up being my alternator and battery so I had to get my car fixed, and by the way I call my car Ida, just creates a good karma for me.

My brother let me use his car to run some errands yesterday morning before I could pick up Ida. I drove him to the bus stop early in the morning (5:30 am!!!!) and would call him when I dropped his car off at the bus stop for him to pick up after work. He had also asked me to look at his computer since it was out of whack, so I went to his place to see if I could fix it. I was able to and called him, and so Joey, I heard his phone ringing as it was sitting on the desk in front of me. I did get a call from a number I didn't recognize and knew it was him. Joey! I'll tell you one thing about him, there's still that little kid in him, he doesn't worry about much, and somehow everything always works out in his favor. It's all in our attitude, about everything, it really does make a difference.

He told me to drop his car off at a bus stop about a mile from my house.

It was pouring, I mean really coming down, but I decided that it was the perfect opportunity for me to take that walk in the rain, to feel like a little kid again, not worrying about my shoes getting wet from a puddle, couldn't care less if a car splashed me driving by, I had so much fun!

I was Gene Kelly in "Singing in the Rain". Maybe not singing about being happy and falling in love, but happy about my life, the people in my life, my family and friends, how blessed I was. And this was as I was on my way to pick up Ida and shell out money I don't really have. The walk pumped up my adrenalin and my thoughts gave me an extra bounce in my step. About half way through my walk as the rain was getting even worse, I did think about calling my sister in law to come pick me up, she had offered, but I kept going and again it was so much fun, I even sang out loud, starting with do, do, do, do, do...and before I knew it I was singing the whole song and splashing my feet in big puddles!

I'm telling you, try it! You will feel like a kid! No matter what problem you have, having that kid feeling inside you will make you feel like one, feeling like you could do anything, nothing to worry about. So as much as you check the weather for those sunny day, notice the rainy forecasts too, plan on taking that walk, a long one or a short one, just splash, sing, be a kid, you will feel so good!

Rain

Call me crazy, but I love a rainy day. I took some pictures outside my door in the sports mode setting to catch the rain falling. I love using sports mode, the pictures sometimes aren't as clear, again learning, learning, learning...but it's cool. Especially taking pictures of the kids, they always move, I use the sports mode most of the time when taking their pictures even when it's not one of their games.

Back to my love of a rainy day. Don't get me wrong, we've had too much, I know, dangerously too much in some areas. I don't like driving in it or being wet when I get to work or somewhere other than home. But I find some comfort in it. I'm sure part of it is wrapped up in memories of being young, all snuggled on the couch watching TV. That safe home feeling. Even now I love when it rains on a day I'm off and I can take a nap on the couch listening to the rain falling down. And of course part has to be from the movie "Singing In the Rain". If you know the song, haven't you at least once had Gene Kelly's voice in your head while walking in the rain? "Do do do do do....". And the GE commercial with the elephant dancing to "Singing in the Rain", tell me you didn't just love it! If you haven't seen it I've posted it below.



Go out in the rain and splash your feet in puddles, put your face up towards the sky and let the rain fall over all your face, catch it on your tongue, sing OUT LOUD or in your head, be a kid in the rain again!

Do, do, do, do, do, do....

You've Got Comments!

Did you ever see the movie "You've Got Mail"? One of my favorites. One of those movies that I'll watch again and again, the music and a sweet love story, besides the fact that Tom Hanks is an awesome actor. I have loved him since watching his TV show "Bosom Buddies" and continue to love everything he does. Doesn't he really seem like a nice guy? You know how you just get that feeling about someone, a total stranger, but you just kind of know? You know?!

So anyway, at the beginning of "You've Got Mail" there's a scene I especially love. Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan are strangers, sharing emails and both of them so looking forward to reading their mail, hearing their computers say "you've got mail". I love the song playing in the background too, "Dreams" by the Cranberries. These strangers then actually walk right by each other, such good friends in cyber space and living so close to each other in this small world of ours.

I wanted to tell you all, friends and strangers, how much it means to me that you read my blog, that many of you come back everyday to see what I have to say. I truly love sharing my stories. I hope you can feel the love in all of them, in my creative projects as well, and silly pranks, I hope I've put a smile on your face, made you chuckle. Those are some of my favorite gifts. Giving and getting!

I love when I sign on to my blog and see that someone has left me a comment. I've even said it out loud with a smile on my face and in my heart, "I've Got Comments!". Thank you is not enough, you give me confidence to keep going on! Like maybe, this is my thing? Who knows!? A wonderful new journey in my life.

Here's the scene from "You've Got Mail"! I hope you enjoy it and more understand how much you all taking the time to read my blog means to me. Thank you!!

Bella Luna

It's Fall, my most favorite season of all!

In New York we have a lot of clear, crisp beautiful days and crazy me looks half way normal walking around in my snugly sweaters, as opposed to me looking like a fruitcake in the summer with those sweaters!

I hope you caught the Harvest Full Moon just a week or so ago. I noticed it just before it was full, on September 10th. I was at a party in Long Island with family and the sky was so bright, it was beautiful. When I got home I went outside and looked up at the sky, it was so blue, like the blue of daytime, not the dark blue of night and the clouds were moving in a cool pattern. My sister had also attended the party and was staying overnight to break her ride from Long Island to upstate New York. I called her downstairs, away from her obsession of a new video game on her ipod and I could tell she was appeasing me walking down the stairs. She looked and said it was beautiful and walked back inside. As she was walking up the stairs I asked her if it was worth it? She said yes, but she wasn't seeing the same thing as me. I'm amazed by nature, when you really stop to think about it, it's little miracles going on all around us. Even in the city of New York and the streets of Brooklyn and Staten Island, not only upstate, where, yes, it is more beautiful because the city lights block some of our view, but they also add different colors to the sky that you wont see upstate. Even Jersey, the factories and the smoke rising up have made for some of the most beautiful sunsets I have seen. Okay, maybe not be the healthiest thing, but I can't say it isn't pretty to look at.
I hope I never grow tired of seeing a beautiful moon.

One night my cousin in Colorado and I planned on looking up at the "Pink Full Moon" on April 17th. So here we are so far away from each other but both of us were looking up in the night sky at the pink moon. Not an obvious pink, but a soft glow, kinda pinkish and it was like Sandra I standing side by side sharing the beautiful sky together and texting each other about what we both saw.

Again, I'm a novice photographer but I went out and took some pictures that night, I think I captured a few cool ones.



I love looking at the moon as it rises, especially the autumn moons, are they closer? They look different, the colors are amazing. The Hunters Full Moon is scheduled for October 11th at 10:06p.m., EDT. Mark your calendar! Even for the day before and after, depending on the weather you might get a better view on different nights. Get your kids out there, show them how amazing our world is, how much there is to see and learn, about so many things, show them the beauty right out your own front door, tell them how the moon follows them. I loved that as a kid.

Bella Luna.

I have said that every time I'm lucky enough to see one of those special moons. I got the line from the movie "Moonstruck". One of the character's calls it Cosmo's Moon. He wakes his wife to see it and you watch her look at husband in such a loving way watching his face glow by the light of the moon. And the "old man" who takes his pack of dogs to the park, shouting "bella luna", teaching his dogs how to howl at moon, laughing and just elated by a beautiful moon.

And the old beautiful New York City skyline...bella luna!

I Ain't Down Yet!

I can't let another blog go by without paying tribute to my favorite movie stars of all time, Debbie Reynolds. I'm sure those who know me wondered when this would come up. Well here it goes.

I obviously named my beloved pet Molly Brown after one of Debbie's most famous roles, Molly Brown in "The Unsinkable Molly Brown". Her motto, no matter what trouble she faced, was "I Ain't Down Yet".

I grew up watching musicals with my mom, listening to her show tune records, Frank Sinatra, Johnny Mathis, so many more, I loved the music and the movies. I remember watching "White Christmas" with my mom and at the end of the movie the inn keeper is honored by his old army buddies with a song "We'll Follow the Old Man", I cry every time he enters the room and sees all the men that came to honor him. It's a beautiful moment, for what it means in the movie and because I shared that moment with my mom.

But Debbie Reynolds was my favorite. I loved so many of her movies, "Tammy and the Bachelor", "The Singing Nun" and of course "The Unsinkable Molly Brown". There was even a short time she had a TV Show, kind of like Lucy and Ethel in "I Love Lucy" always getting in trouble with her neighbor. She was funny, she could sing and dance and I dreamed of having the same kind of career. My first Broadway show was "Irene" starring Debbie Reynolds. I had no idea what Broadway was like or what it meant to the acting world but I was in awe from the moment the orchestra starting playing. It was magic, a place to escape from the real world and even if I couldn't have a career like hers, I would do anything, be in the chorus, work backstage, the whole world was one of wonder and fantasy to me. I even met Debbie 3 times in my life. Once after the show Irene, she came out in the lobby and autographed playbills for anyone who wanted and so many people did. I couldn't say a word, I was about 12 I guess, and I in total awe. The second time, not long after I waited by the stage door for her to arrive for her show and she invited me backstage. There were other people there and they were saying such nice things but again I couldn't say a word. Not like me at all! The third time I was in my mid 30s and she was playing in Atlantic City. As a kid I would write to her all the time, telling her how great she was and how I wanted to be just like her. I got to speak to her manager who actually remembered my name! I guess you could have called me an obsessed fan! But here was my chance to just thank her for sharing her wonderful talent and making people laugh, be happy, especially me. Well this time I did talk but I made absolutely no sense! I would start a sentence with one thought and end it with another, I was babbling! I think I made her a little dizzy. But my friend took this picture and I think you can tell how happy I am.



And my blog called "Molly Made Me Do It" is more than Molly just being my muse. I had suffered a terrible depression before having Molly in my life. Life really hit my family with "sucker punches" as my niece commented in one of my blogs. One after another, in a very short period of time. I lost hope and concentrated on what I lost instead of what I had. Naming Molly was as much for my love of Debbie Reynolds as it was for the real Molly Brown. The real Molly Brown was a fighter, she changed her life, she changed many peoples' lives. She was on the Titanic and kept the people on her life raft sane by pushing them to go on, to survive. My Molly did that for me. She was my hope. She kept me "up". I had to take care of her, and as much as I took care of her, she took care of me more. She gave me unconditional love. She was just happy to see me no matter what. I had to make sure she was fed and walked and loved, that was the easy part and I got so much in return. I wasn't down yet.

Even after losing Molly, I was beyond sad, and I still miss her very much, but she's inside me, the lessons I learned about what was important and what didn't matter. She changed me, maybe not to the same exact person I was before, but I'm a little stronger, I truly am happy because I try to look for the good in everyone and everything. I found a new me and a new outlook on life. I still have have bad days, I'm always struggling financially and even today my car wouldn't start and it was right after I took my niece to church! I just did a good thing! I can't say that I wasn't a little upset, but I didn't cry. I walked home and just decided to take it one minute at a time. I worked yesterday, it could have happened then, being stuck in New Jersey and not being able to walk home or having to bother someone to come and pick me up. It was in a safe place, close enough to walk home, in my little neighborhood town where I've made friends with most of the merchants, we know each other by name, I can ask them to look out for my car. All good things. I Ain't Down Yet.

I decided on my walk home to concentrate on the good in my life, and trust me I may not be rich, but I am blessed beyond most people's dreams. I have so many loving family members, friends, I have a job, it may drive me crazy, but I have a job! I have my health and worrying will just cause me to not feel good inside and out. I got home and started my blog. A good practice to get your mind off your worries is keeping busy. For me, keeping busy is doing my little art projects and writing this blog, but even cleaning your house, straightening up the closets, listening to music while you work, escaping into a great book, it all keeps you from being down. We can choose. We can choose to be in a bad mood or a good mood, to see the glass half fall or half empty. I'm a "cockeyed optimist". I learned a lot from having Molly in my life.

I walked back into town a couple of hours later and the car started up! I think I put good vibes out in the universe and they came back to me. I took it to the gas station and they won't be able to look at it until the morning but I'm hoping it's something that can be fixed (and not too expensive!) And the man at the gas station, well he wasn't exactly in the best mood, told me my car is probably falling apart. Then apologized, said he was having a bad day. I chose to ignore his opinion of my car and wished him a better day. Ida will be okay. Ida is what I named my car, one of my great grandmother's names, always thanking her for keeping me safe and getting me to where I've got to be! So far she's taken real good care of me so I'm throwing out my positive vibes that my Ida will come through for me...I Ain't Down Yet!

Below are some of my favorite Debbie Reynolds songs from her movies, the old preview when "The Unsinkable Molly Brown" was released, which includes her line "I Ain't Down Yet!" And though not Debbie Reynolds, but a great scene from her movie, "Singing in the Rain". Jean Hagen as "Lina Lamont" at a diction lesson...a classic line,

"And I can't stand him".

Most of these youtube links you will be able to open from my blog but a couple will say you need to go to YouTube. I hope you do, they are great clips, especially the line from Jean Hagen!









The clip below is Abba Dabba Honeymoon. I sang this song to all my nieces and nephews when they were babies, and I loved when they would sing it back to me, I hope they feel some little memory in their hearts if they ever by chance hear this song.



And I guess her most famous song is this one, Tammy.




Debbie Reynolds has had her own share of problems, stardom didn't give her an easy life. If you're too young to know, Debbie and her first husband Eddie Fisher were the classic Hollywood love story until he left her for Elizabeth Taylor, it's been compared to the Jennifer Anniston/Brad Pitt saga in the news today. Sad enough your marriage breaks up but everywhere you look your life is making headlines. Even her daughter, Carrie Fisher, a big star, a sex symbol from the "Star Wars" films, she's had her share of problems, now one of those is struggling to lose weight. Somehow these woman survived and keep on going. I may not have a career like Debbie Reynolds or even her daughter, who is also an accomplished writer, but they both ain't down yet and neither am I.

And as much as Debbie Reynolds has been an inspiration to me, there was none bigger than my mom, the biggest star in my life. She loved the simple things and appreciated them and taught us all that. She wasn't impressed by jewelry or expensive gifts, or having fancy clothes. I think her favorite thing was sharing a family dinner, with all those she loved enjoying a simple good meal together, sharing our days, our love.

She's one of those bright stars you see in the sky at night, shining down and showing me the way.

I Ain't Down Yet!

Mia's Mama

Mia's Mama is a friend I met while working at a law firm downtown Manhattan. We didn't work together too long, maybe about a year and half but we shared a large cubicle with another girl and from the first day we met we were friends. She is a funny loving person, a great mom, her girls mean the world to her and since I've known her everything was always about her family, good and bad, family comes first. As much as her parents help her out now since she and her husband work full time, she helps them too, does so much for them and she's a wonderful example for her own children. Maybe more than being funny we connected on that level, family comes first for me.

Theresa, Mia's Mama, and I have talked pretty much every Saturday morning since we met. We both are early risers and at about 7:30 or so in the a.m., one of us is answering the phone imitating her mother's Italian accent. Her mom would call the office when we worked together and I loved the way she would ask for Theresa when I answered her phone, I've called her Theresa the way her mother said it since and now Theresa says my name with that beautiful accent, it sounds like a different name!

We talk about everything, what's going on in our lives, job problems, men problems, we talk about her kids, our families. We're so lucky that we have this time, by 8:15 or so she's got to get into her day with her children and I'm off and doing my thing. I don't even get to talk to my sisters on such a regular basis. We just don't have the same schedule.

There are many times when one of us is in crisis mode and we reach out during the week. we both know it's something important when those calls come in. From just a short time working together on a daily basis a beautiful friendship emerged. I saw her 2 years ago because I made the chocolate bar wrappers for her daughter's christening, but even that was a quick cup of coffee and we both had to go back to our busy lives. And before that I hadn't seen her in six years as she lives upstate and stopped working in Manhattan shortly after her first child, Sophia, was born.

There are many people I've met during my life that I wish I could talk to every once in a while, but we all have such busy lives, especially parents, always running here and there taking their kids to their practice or clubs, whatever. It's not easy.

For me Facebook has been a wonderful way for me to say hello and share time with friends I love and have missed. Life changes so much, you move out of the neighborhood, you change schools, you marry, have a family, work, spend your precious time with your family, time goes by way too fast! So me and my friends may not talk to each other every day on Facebook, sometimes nothing after the initial contact of "hey! hi! I remember you", but we're friends all the same, we've acknowledged to each other that we shared a part of our journey through life together.

I know Facebook can also cause problems for some people, maybe for kids more. What they write will be there forever, will define them as they get older and may be a big impact on their relationships, their careers. What a different world! Good and bad, huh?

The chocolate bar wrapper pictured below another design made with love. I copied Anne Geddes work. Anne Geddes is an amazing artist. I think most people have seen her work and know her name, but if you don't, she is known for her pictures of babies or young toddlers dressed as pea pods, or butterflies, flowers, fairies, the most beautiful pictures. Check her work out on line if you by some strange change have not seen her pictures and even if you have, you just smile in your heart when you look at her work. A tremendous talent.

Again, I copied this wonderful women's idea. Though unlike Anne, I didn't take pictures of Mia in a flower pot, just cropped her beautiful little face and built everything else around her. Mia's Mama loved them and it gave us a chance to actually sit and chat face to face for a short time, but we have our Saturday mornings, a highlight of my weekends!

What Will I Be When I Grow Up!?

I didn't get to my blog yesterday as I went into the city to see the Nate Berkus Show. Left super early in the morning and ended up missing the Staten Island Ferry coming home and then being late for work. A long day.

The Nate Berkus Show is talk show about entertainment and lifestyle, home decorating, clothes, craft ideas, lots of different topics.

I have never seen the show, it's on when I'm working and it's probably a great show, but seeing it from the audience is nothing like seeing a show on TV. We sat in the last row of one section and it was very difficult to see him or hear for most of the show. There are sets all over the room and it looks like he's sitting in a living room or a kitchen, but they're all just very small sets and the way it's filmed comes across way different when we watch it at home. We were instructed when to clap, when to stop, and I understand that, they want the audience to sound enthusiastic for the people at home watching, but every moment is set up, planned. And all I wanted to do was watch the back stage goings on, which we were instructed not to do, they told us to always keep your eyes on Nate. I wanted to watch the cameramen, the guys moving the sets around. It's amazing! They work as a team from every second you're there. The backstage people can be talking or moving sets and all of a sudden it's silent and the countdown begins to action!

I went on a tour of Paramount Studios in California years ago. A friend of mine worked in the New York Office and set up a private tour for us. It was absolutely one the best times for me. We were on the set of "Cheers", not while they were filming, and the size of the bar is so small, watching it on TV it seemed like a large room and the actual bar very long, it's really small, one you could have set up in your basement for entertaining. Again, it's the magic, all about the angle they film from and the guy behind the camera knowing how to get that perfect shot. All artists!

We were shown where they filmed the parting of the Red Sea in the film "The Ten Commandments" with Charlton Heston, a parking lot, with a big movie screen on one side, kind of like a drive-in movie. It was a wonderful tour that day, we even ran into Mary Hart and John Tesh walking off a set. Even actors and actresses, when you see them off screen, without their make up and the lights shining a certain way on them, they look different. John asked us to to move out of the way of a door, very polite, said excuse me, but it took us a few seconds to realize who just walked by us. When I worked in Manhattan I've passed by many movie stars and it takes you a second to realize, hey wait a minute, that was Alex Baldwin, Dick Clark, Bette Midler! And no one bothers them, really. I've never seen anyone run up to get their autographs, they just let them pass by. Yes, even me! Though I have to admit I couldn't help myself when I ran into Bruce Willis. I just had to greet him and it was captured by a photographer who was taking pictures of Times Square that day, walked right up to him and put my hand out to shake his hand and said I love you Bruce Willis!

Matthew Perry is also right behind me and after going gaga over Bruce I did turn and say oh Matthew Perry I love you too, but it wasn't the same, it was obvious what a fan of Bruce I was

There are so many jobs out there that may not be glamorous, you may not be on camera, but for me I felt the excitement from everyone that worked at the Nate Berkus Show, they were part of the industry, just like I felt all those years ago working at RKO, working as a secretary. I was part of a team and a team I loved being on.

My dreams changed over the years, yes I could join a local theatre group, but I'm not so sure that's what I want anymore. There's been lots of surprises in my life, good and bad, but somehow I think they are leading me to where I should be.

I grew up dreaming of be an actress, being a star! But I've developed new passions and somehow I believe I'm on the road to something good, better, meant for me.

I wonder what I'll be when I grow up!

Read!

I've worked with computers for many years now and am amazed at how much kids know. Way more than I do. I have watched them work the mouse on a laptop, their cute little fingers moving over it, and I still can't do it. I had a laptop and had to get a regular mouse to use it, I was so spastic. They know how to work with programs I'm still struggling to learn, they have grown up in a different world.

They have video games that I don't even know the names of, they have discussions talking about xbox or wii or mp something, I don't know, it's a foreign language to me. I had an obsession years ago with my younger brother's Mario Brothers game. I couldn't stop playing until I reached the top level, it took over me. Then Facebook got me when I first joined with a farm game. I was actually making a list of the times I had to go back and check the farm. Too much! Both times it was like a drug and I had to quit.

My friend Tara knows absolutely zilch about computers. Her cell phone too, don't leave her a message because she has no idea how retrieve messages. She has two kids that again have grown up in a different world, they know it all. She's called me many times to check their Facebook pages to see what's going on. They're good kids, she just needs to check which is good thing. I've tried to teach her but she just doesn't get. Her parents too, she and her kids live with them and they are so lost. Tara got stuck late at work and called her father to tell him to make sure her daughter didn't have her laptop and cell phone in her room, she wanted her doing her homework and going to bed early. When she got home she asked her father if he got the computer and phone and he said yes, the computer was hidden and he pulled the phone out of his pocket, so happy he had it safe. Tara said good job dad but that's a camera. I loved that one. Tara's daughter just shrugged it away like oh well, you can't blame me for trying.

When I was younger TV was too much as far as my parents were concerned. Of course then we had the option to go out and play but even then I was always told to read and I did. I read comic books, Nancy Drew mysterious. Books are a wonderful escape, way better than TV or video games. I can't see a movie until I read the book. I don't want to imagine the movie characters when I read, I want to use my imagination, I get lost in a good book and when I finish I feel like I've lost something special.

This past weekend I went upstate with my brother Joey and his kids to visit our sister Linda and her family. It's about an hour and half ride and the whole time the kids were playing with their video games. When we took long trips in the car we would sing, with the radio and without the radio, we would play games counting the colors of cars driving by, read, and one thing that hasn't changed, we would ask "are we there yet". Even with their video games going the whole ride this weekend, my niece and nephews would pop out of the zone and ask "are we there yet".

My sister Linda works at the library in her town and her daughter Emily works there part time now too. The library had a fair that day, along with Barnes and Noble they invited authors of children's books ranging from toddler to teens. It was a great event. The kids walked around and got to speak with the authors and ask questions. Jojo was especially interested and was asking how do you write a book, why did you write the book. One author was awesome, he was raised knowing how great reading was by his parents and knew if you could just get that one book that would get you hooked, you wouldn't be able to stop. One author I was disappointed with. She wrote a book about the environment and when Jojo asked she assumed he wouldn't be interested, she gave a a boring description of her book with no excitement at all. I think she just wrote the book to make money, not to capture the reader.

Our Emily is an artist, she's a reader, a writer, just amazing. She started an anime club at the library, joining her love of art and reading and bringing other teens out of their homes, away from their video games, she created a wonderful social environment for them. At the fair they had an author of an anime books teaching a class, and Emily and her club had painted the big windows of the library with the author's work. Emily got to meet someone she admires and the author loved her painting.

Reading is a magical. JK Rowling's Harry Potter books so captured a generation and they loved to read, they couldn't wait for the next book to come out. I think now that the movies are all out so many kids wont read the book. They wont have that hunger to read the next one. They'll watch the movie, I see with my nephews now when I suggest they read the books. The movies are great, but nothing can compare to your own imagination when you're reading, nothing.

I don't know what book got me hooked, but it's a wonderful obsession. My mom loved to read and always suggested great books for us. We're a family of readers, sharing books, talking about great books and love when we suggest a good book to each other, it's a wonderful gift! I'll never forget the first time I cried reading a book. "A Tree Grows in Brooklyn" by Betty Smith. I was sobbing out loud. I couldn't believe how much a book could move me. I read all her books after that and I liked them but not like "A Tree Grows In Brooklyn". Many authors over the years have caught me with a great book, I could never pick a favorite, there's too many.

I've learned so much from reading. I became better at spelling. Even while reading fiction, I've learned so much about history and when I read something I don't understand I look it up on line and learn more.

Reading is a good obsession, an adventure, and you can escape to another world, it's a learning experience.

One of my favorite authors these days is Harlan Coben. The first book I read was "Tell No One" and it was an awesome read! Not his first book so I went searching for his earlier books. He had written a series of books about a character named Myron Bolitar. I'm in love with Myron!!! He is an awesome character and Harlan hasn't disappointed me yet with any of his books.

Read!

Have It Your Way

My first job as a teenager was in Burger King and so many of the friends in my life now are from there or I met them through someone I worked with at Burger King.

My family had moved to Staten Island from Brooklyn when I was a sophomore in high school and I was already attending school in Staten Island, my commute to school was only ten minutes since we lived on the Brooklyn side of the Verrazano Bridge and my school was on the Staten Island side of the bridge. But when they first took us out to the boonies of Staten Island to show us where we were moving I was so upset. It was so far out on the island and there were no stores, woods everywhere and worse still the area we moved to was filled with really young kids and the few my age all attended the local high school and were not welcoming me into their click. I remember that first ride out, asking so many times, where are you taking us!!! This is crazy, it's so far away! You're ruining our lives!!! So dramatic, but again it's hard during your teen years to make big changes like that, and for my sister Linda, it was even more difficult, she started 8th grade in Brooklyn, finished it in Staten Island and then moved on to high school a year later, a lot of changes.

I still attended the same school but now had an hour or more commute, on a good day. If I missed the bus I had to wait an hour for the next one. And coming home was even worse, there seemed to be no schedule. I would have to wait more than an hour for my bus home and that ride was at least an hour long, driving through all the local streets and down deserted roads, surrounded by woods to get to my home in the boonies.

For me working at Burger King was like a dream come true. We didn't have McDonalds or Burger King in Brooklyn at that time and going to either of those fast food places was a rare treat. Now I was surrounded by junk food that I could eat all day. I was always grabbing a fry or two, making a milk shake, drinking soda (which I was not allowed to have at home). I loved it. And better still I met so many fun people, I was part of a crowd again and they all lived closer to me than anyone at school. Still not within walking distance but close enough. Some of my friends were starting to drive, or we took car service and there many times when we couldn't drive or get a ride and we would walk miles to meet and just hang out.

This morning I had coffee with my friend Tara, one of my first friends at Burger King who I connected with right away. We both are a little nuts and love to laugh. A great thing about Tara is she remembers so much. She tells me stories and sometimes I have a vague memory of it or sometimes she can make me remember all of it, she's amazing. Even stories about my mom, who she also loved dearly, it's nice to hear those stories.

And what a small world! Tara's father's best man at his wedding was my father's best friend. Tara overhead my dad talking about his friend Whitie one day and she asked his last name, Whitie not being a name she heard too often. When my father told her she said that was her father's best man. My father didn't believe her, he told her there is no way his best friend was in a wedding party and he didn't know the guy or about the wedding. The next day Tara came to our house with her parents wedding album and there was Whitie, Bo's childhood friend. He called Whitie up and asked how he didn't know Tara's dad. Bo, Whitie and Tara's dad were all New York City firefighters, was that where they met? Whitie told my dad that he met Tara's father during the Korean War, a time when my dad and Whitie were not together. It's funny too because Tara used to tell me before we learned about the Whitie connection, that her dad had told her he knew the story of a single firefighter who had married a woman with six kids, I just assumed he heard the story in the firehouse, and maybe he did, but it also could just be that he heard it from Whitie.

Tara is still a funny and silly person and like me, maybe a little more nuts!! She is entertaining and her laugh is infectious. I think she even talks faster than me! When she calls me up, days or even weeks from the last time I've seen or talked to her, after I say hello, she goes right into a conversation like we just got cut off, or like we are in the middle of a conversation. Makes me dizzy! I have to listen closely to catch up with what we're talking about!

Working at Burger King, we wore our corny polyester uniforms, bright orange and gold with big poofy hats. And no matter how much I washed my uniform my closet smelled like Burger King. To this day I can't eat there. Nothing against Burger King, it's good fast food, and clean, we had to keep the kitchen spotless, I remember that. It's just that I ate so much of it while working there and lived with the smell of the uniform permeating my closet, I've had enough Burger King.

This commercial video shows what our "cool" uniforms looked like.



Tara said the first time she met me we were getting a ride home from a fellow worker, Michael, who introduced us. I was getting into the back seat and there were pickle buckets on the floor, Michael told me to move them, I told him no problem, he had bucket seats, that was a luxury. Tara laughed, she got my humor.

The first year I rented a house "down the Jersey Shore" was with my Burger King friends. That house was crazy, too many people and we pushed things to the limit a few times. But for the most part we just loved to have fun, play practical jokes on our friends and laugh. That first year I don't think we went to the beach more than once or twice, most of the time we hung on our front porch drinking beer, having BBQs and laughing.

At this time there were cassette tape recorders. For years I had sang in my bedroom to one of my favorite songs and taped it on my recorder thinking I sounded great, then you play it back and hear you don't sound as good as you thought. Also during this time people would make mixed tapes and bring them along on car rides or to play at parties and one day while hanging out in our Shore house listening to someone's mixed tape, we hear a horrible voice singing along to one of the songs. It was our friend Pat. We were cracking up and knew not to tell Pat of our find, we would save it for the right moment which came when Pat was going out on her first date with a guy she met at the Shore. He comes to pick her up and while he's waiting for her to come downstairs, we pop the tape in and put the volume up loud. I can just imagine Pat upstairs primping, getting ready for her date, all excited and then hearing the music. I think it took her a minute or so to realize what we were playing but she eventually came running down those stairs, boom, boom, boom, boom!!! I never saw her move so fast! She ripped the tape out of the recorder and pulled all the tape out of the cassette, knowing we would play that tape every chance we got. We were laughing hysterically with her date not realizing what was going on, not one of brightest guys.

Busting on Pat was one of our favorite pastimes. She could take a joke and though she was flipping out when we played it for her date, the next day she was able to laugh along with us. Pat also had an infectious laugh. She could make you laugh more when she was laughing at herself, sometimes over something funny she said, or most times just when she thought she said something funny, she would laugh and you couldn't help but laugh too.

Again reminded by Tara this morning, one Sunday afternoon during our Shore days, Pat had a little too much to drink at a happy hour and came home and fell asleep. Tara and I used a pen and drew naked men all over the back of her legs. We figured she'd see it and that was funny enough but it worked out even a little better than we planned. When we drove home that night she was still tired and maybe even still a little drunk but we dropped her off at home, laughing while watching her walk up her front steps with the drawings all over the back of her legs. The next morning she got up, took a quick shower and I'm sure she didn't think she needed to scrub the back of her legs! Probably even overslept that morning and was rushing to get ready for work. Now this part of the story was too bad. She was just about to walk out the door when her mother asked her what was all over her legs and she finally noticed our artwork. Seconds away from her commuting and going to work with those pictures all over her legs. That would have been the icing on the cake for that one.

Tara has tons of stories and she laughs while telling them and you have to laugh along with her. Even now, as the mother of two teenagers, she always makes me laugh. Even discussing a serious matter, that funny girl inside can't help but make a comment that makes me laugh, that can lighten the moment.

They say an apple a day keeps the doctor away. I think a laugh a day is even better. That's my medicine. That's my way!

They Dribble Like Their Dad

I created this baby shower invitation when my brother Joey was awaiting the birth of his first child, Robert. The dribble refers to Joey's passion for basketball, not being a drooler! And I knew one of the things he was looking forward to were the days that are here now, playing basketball with his kids.

Joey grew up playing sports and basketball was and still is his favorite. He had a Nerf basketball and hoop set up in our kitchen with masking tape on the floor marking his court. He played constantly and if he did something wrong my father knew the best way to teach him a lesson was to take the hoop down. That hoop went up and down so many times the wall it was pasted to was pealing off. And the masking tape never came off the floor, we had to put a new floor down to cover it. Sound effects were always part of his game while playing alone, he was player, commentator and the crowd cheering.

Yesterday was one of those days Joey looked forward to when he thought about being a dad. Now the father of 3, Robert, Jojo and Bella, Joey keeps them busy with baseball, basketball and soccer leagues, coaching some of those teams as well. And though Jojo of the three of them had no interest in sports for years always going back inside to play video games, he's finally enjoying soccer and more has caught his father's basketball fever and is moving up the ranks in basketball at an amazing pace.

Joey's kids are so lucky that they live in a nice neighborhood on a great street. There's a bunch of kids the same age as Joey's kids. All boys, but our Bella has no problem being a girly girl one minute and quickly switching gears to her tomboy persona, which seem to be the dominant side these days. She can stand up with the best of them.

The kids on the block love playing outside. They leave the video games and TV. They make up games. They have learned to settle their differences without an adult working it out for them. They play basketball, whiffle ball, football, hide and seek, all without adults leading them, telling them what to do or what the rules are. They discuss it, they come to agreements. Kids have fights, it's normal. These kids are learning to work it out and getting better all the time with it. They're learning lessons most kids don't get to learn today.

Joey had a game of basketball yesterday afternoon with Robert and Bella and their neighbor Nick. Joey and Bella against Robert and Nick and Joey said Bella was so into the game. Yelling "that was my fault" when she missed the ball or "sorry I should have caught that", putting her hand up, like "my bad" as she's seen her father do, her brothers and the gang on the block. Better still Robert was enjoying watching Bella, old enough to appreciate these little moments in his baby sister that will be gone before you know it. He enjoyed that as much as the game and it makes me love him more.

Bella used to say "aminal" for "animal" and Robert used to correct her until Joey suggested to him that he shouldn't. That before long she would be saying it the right way, let it be. And whenever Bella said aminal, Robert would look at her with so much love and smile.

Today, as Joey was playing ball with the kids, at one point he told Bella to check the ball. She looked at the ball and examined it, spinning it round and round, she was checking the ball. Joey got a kick out of her and better still Robert was adoring his baby sister once again, her innocence, not laughing at her, just enjoying her being funny without even realizing it. Again I love that he appreciates these beautiful special moments in his life.

They explained to Bella what it meant to check the ball, and yes I had to look it up!

It's the start of a play. Instead of throwing the ball inbounds to your teammate, you set up at the top of the court, the shaded rectangle, throwing it to your opponent to make sure their team is ready before throwing it back, used mostly when playing half-court ball.

Bella understood, she's a smart little girl, but continued to check the ball her own way, getting adoring laughs from her dad and big brother.

They all have their Daddy's Dribble!!

My Mad Hatter Tea Parties

My friends and I had our first hat party during one of our summers renting a house "down the Jersey Shore". Just a small little twist to a party and it was a lot of fun. Easier than figuring out of a costume to wear and though there were some people who showed up in a baseball cap, everyone was wearing a hat at the party and there began my idea for my own hat parties, my "Mad Hatter Tea Parties".

The first year I think there were lots of baseball caps as well, especially the guys, but by the next year even they were way more into the theme party and trying to outdo each other. I made a up my own medal and started having a contest for the Mad Hatter of the Year. I wish I had more pictures from the parties but I was always having too much fun!

As the host and the official "Mad Hatter", I wore the same hat each year, copied from the original "Mad Hatter" from the Disney movie "Alice In Wonderland". I did serve beer but the main drink was ice tea and vodka with my cooler designed as a tea pot, and a hat as did my life-sized cut out of Bruce Springsteen and my brother's life-size cut out of Michael Jordan.

And extra special, at one of my Mad Hatter parties, my friends Kathy and Dave were brought together by mutual friends and fell in love and have been married over 20 years. Dave became a dad to her beautiful children and made a big difference in their lives. A wonderful couple and family, they belong together.

Even if you're having a summer family BBQ, add the hat idea in your invitation, I think kids would love designing their own funny hats for a party and you can serve ice tea minus the vodka! I also suggest decaf ice tea for them as well!!!

Alice in Wonderland - I'm Late

This is me today! I'm late, I'm late, I'm late!!

Fridays are my early day and I'm off to work. I hope to finish today's blog about my Madhatter Tea Parties. A little different than Alice in Wonderful's party but a blast!!

Have a great Friday all my dear readers. Thank you so much for checking in to see my blog

I caught a fish THIS BIG!

One of my co workers said to me recently that she doesn't laugh like she did as a kid or even as she did as a young adult. One of those belly laughs, that just comes from inside you and you just can't stop. I told her I still have so many laughs like that and I wonder if I'm just lucky? I have funny people in my life, family, friends and one of the funniest is my youngest brother Joey.

From the time he was a baby he had a huge audience. He's the youngest of the 7 of us and there was more often than not company at our dining room table. His high chair was his stage! My friend Kathy has reminded me lately of his days when he was into the show "Happy Days" and especially the Fonz. Our brother Bob bought him a faux leather jacket to match the Fonz and Joey was the Fonz. Again, Kathy reminded me how Joey would answer our front door in his Fonz jacket saying "cool yule". He was always entertaining.

Joey and my youngest sister are only 3 years apart and as kids they could be best friends one minute and fighting the next. My parents would constantly tell Deb "why do you listen to him" and Joey would bust her chops more by saying one thing, followed by "why do you listen to me" with a smirk on his face, infuriating her more. He would almost touch her and she would scream and tell on him and he wasn't touching her, he was tormenting her. Unfortunately for Debbie, all her friends loved having Joey around, they got a kick out of him and though Debbie finds him hysterical now, the last thing she wanted when she was a teenager, was having her little brother hanging out with her friends. But he was their entertainment.

My sister Linda can laugh at him now and there's a 10 year different between them but he wasn't so funny to Linda. I came hoe from work once and he was about 8 and Linda 18. Joey had locked her out of our house and was smiling at her in the window. She was furious and I was laughing. I mean he was 8. How did he get her locked out, she was babysitting. She's a great mom now and I'm glad to say that none of her children have or want to lock her out of the house. Well, they haven't locked her out of the house.

And me, well I was always laughing at Joey, I thought everything he did was cute or funny and my father used to tell me, all the time, "someday you're not going to think he's so funny". Never! How could I not find Joey funny!?

I hate to say it but there was a short time that my father was right. Parents always are!!!

Growing up our front door was always unlocked. I remember my mom going through the "locking the door" stage but it never lasted very long. There were too many of us and at one time or another someone was ringing the bell because they lost their key. She just gave up.

There came a time when it was just Joey and I living in our family home and I worked all day and didn't really like the idea of leaving the door unlocked. Joey was about 20 and though I loved most of his friends, I didn't want any of them walking in and out of the house when we weren't home. We started to lock the door.

I cannot tell you how many times Joey lost his keys! Really. I can't count. He worked a local job at that time and would leave later than I did and get home earlier. He would be out until 2 or 3 in the morning and wake me up to let him in the house. Again, I really can't count but it was ridiculous. The mornings after he woke me up, I would be super pissed and yelling at him for losing another key. How could this keep happening? He even had a car!! He had a car and that key he never lost! Why would anyone keep 2 separate keys? Joey!

Finally one morning I came down to breakfast after another night of being woken up in the wee hours and greeted Joey with a big smile and said good morning. He was shocked and asked me what was going on. I told him I had it with the lost keys. From now on if he lost his key, he had to wave a 20 dollar bill at the window after he woke me and if he didn't have a 20, I wasn't opening the door.

Do you know that was the last time he lost his key!? How much money I could have made! Now I laugh about it but I coulda made a mint!!!

Speaking of mint. I had this mint garment bag, a really expensive well made bag that was a gift from co-workers and Joey was going away for the weekend and asked if he could use it. I hadn't even used it yet, but I figured what could he possibly do to it? Well...Sunday night Joey comes home and tells me how much fun he had. I told him I was glad but where's my garment bag. He told me he came home with a different group of guys and my bag was in another car and would be dropped off. I still wasn't worried. He then told me how he and his friends shaved an eyebrow off of their friend Mike when he passed out. Mike was fair skinned and blue eyed but had really dark hair and dark eyebrows. Poor guy, he had to shave the other one, wore sunglasses for a month or so and the nickname "Brows" lasted for years.

The next day I came home from work and noticed that someone left my garment bag on the deck in the backyard. Perfect condition! I decided to unpack the bag and throw his clothes in the laundry and brought the bag inside. When I unzipped it I was disgusted to find that it was filled with fish! All different kinds of fish. His toothbrush was in the mouth of a fish, his shoes were filled with them, pockets of his shorts and jackets filled with fish, everywhere fish!! Oh yeah, I forgot to mention it, Brows worked at the Fulton Street Fish Market. I was fuming but our Joey, as usual, shrugs it all off, trust me the guy doesn't sweat the small stuff, bought me a new bag, which I told had to be girly, with flowers or something, anything that would look ridiculous for him to carry. He did and all was well, for then.

Not long after, I came home from work and Joey told me he had gone fishing and there was fresh fish in the fridge and also to come out in the yard and see the big fish he caught which he had in a cooler. I looked at the fish and I guess it was a nice size but I shrugged and asked him what he was going to do with it. He told me he wanted to show his friends. A day went by, 2 days, 3 days, by the 4th day I could see through the glass doors to the back and there were flies surrounding the cooler. When Joey came in I told him to get rid of the fish. I said there were probably maggots in the cooler. He brushes me off, like I'm crazy and walked outside, closing the door behind him, but I could still see him. He opened the cooler and jumped back from the smell. I knew it had to be bad when he jumped and unfortunately when he came back in, so did some of that smell. It was airborne, not long before the entire neighborhood would be smelling it. I told him to get rid of the fish and the cooler. NOW!

I didn't know what he did with it, but it was gone.

At the time our yard faced a new street where there would soon be a school and supermarket. People would take walks back there for exercise or just checking on the development of the school and most of the people that visited our house parked back there. I could hear people talking as they walked by our back fence and then I would hear them gagging, asking what was that smell?! I was going to kill him!!! I can't believe he just took the fish and threw it out by the construction. Then our doorbell rings. It's our neighbor, who had to have seen the cooler from his own back window. My neighbor just looked at me like, sorry, but you know why I'm here. Again, I wasn't laughing, I told Joey to take the cooler and the fish to the city dump. He went out the front door to get his car and drive it around back to pick up the smelly gross cooler.

I had to make sure he wasn't going to just move it further away from our house and as I was walking out the back gate, my sister and her husband had just parked and were getting out of their car, waving the air in front of them and also looking like they were going to gag. What the heck smelled so bad! I told them and they were laughing. It was Joey, he just has that way, you can't help but laugh, a lot more when you don't live with him. Joey drove around and grabbed the cooler and was about to put it in his car when my brother in law stopped him. He told him not to put it in his car, he'd never get the smell out. Tie it to the back of the car and drag it and that's what Joey did. The only thing is, on the first turn he made, of course way too fast, the cooler swung around, popped open as of course he didn't tie it closed and the fish went flying out into the middle of the intersection, coming apart and and that was where Joey left it, with the cooler still hanging from the back of his car. Those poor people that lived up the street, it stunk for days.

A much more responsible fisherman turned 70 last year and I designed his party favors. Bobby loves to fish and though he never caught one this big... he got a kick out of seeing himself in this shot.
I searched on line for pictures again, just searched for "fishermen" and chose the best picture. It's kind of hard to see but the cartoon fisherman is also Bobby's face. I made labels for the one-serving sized wine bottles for the adults and then did party bags filled with Swedish Fish for the kids. The party bags are another great idea and I've used them for many parties. You can use baggies, or go to a store like "Michaels", or a craft supply store and find whatever size bag you need. Look where they keep supplies for making your own chocolate. I make tent cards and fold them over the bag and staple it, you can use glue but the staples are easier and the kids are going to just rip open the bags anyway. Fill the bags with toys, candy, whatever is appropriate for the occasion.



Now I love to tell the stories of Joey driving me crazy and I laugh. To this day he tells me bogus fishy stories and I'm like, really?! I fall for it all the time. I'm gullible but he's really good at it. He is our family's and his friends best entertainment, all the kids in the family call him Uncle Dodo, a nickname from our niece Irene. His children have his sense of humor in different ways and they have given me so many belly laughs, laughing til I'm crying, as all my nieces and nephews have done at certain times but these 3 have Joey in them, especially his youngest.

Belly laughs, uncontrolled laughter, the wonderful feeling it gives me is still a part of my life. My friends and I don't see each other as often but when we do get together, there's always a moment where we are laughing like children. I try most days to go about my day with a smile inside, it feels good and can be infectious to those you meet.

In my life, I caught a fish THIS BIG!!!!

Bruce Springsteen and the Lamp

In case you don't know it by now, I'm a big Bruce Springsteen fan.

When I worked at RKO, in my late teens and early 20s, I had a few bosses who got the biggest kick out me and my love of Bruce and I don't think there was anyone in the office at that time who didn't know I was a fan. On Monday mornings after my weekends "down the Jersey Shore", one of my bosses would love to discuss my weekends over morning coffee. I was always telling him how I "almost" met Bruce. Almost! Too many times almost. I would walk into a bar down the Shore and hear someone say, Tricia you just missed him, he was here, he sang! I couldn't believe my luck. When would it be my turn!! Even recently, my friend Karen lives in Jersey and attended an equestrian event for her niece. Who's there. Yes Bruce! And his wife Patti, as their daughter is also an equestrian. So there's my friend Karen hanging with them and chatting, doing her best to pretend like she's just talking to a fellow parent watching their kids, but in her mind she's thinking I'm actually standing here hanging out and talking to Bruce Springsteen, and wait until I call Tricia and tell her, she's going to be flipping! And yes I was!

Karen and I met at at Burger King where we worked after school and weekends during our high school years, and then ended up working together at RKO. We didn't work in the same department but got to have lunch together and added extra fun during lulls in the day when we could take a break from our work.

I worked in the advertising department with a small but hugely awesome group. Pam was the director, John the manager, Theresa the coordinator and I was the secretary. I learned a lot from these three talented, creative people in the years that I worked with them and our little department was always the center of social chats in the company. There was always someone stopping by to chat and get a good laugh. Yes, from me sometimes. But John, John was the super funny guy in our office. From his outward appearance, you would never expect the kind of man he was inside. He was so funny and silly and was always coming up with ways to make me laugh.

I used to type all the press releases, before computers and had to be very careful not to make typos. After they were typed up, John and I would proofread them together and John could even make proofreading fun. If there was a funny name or word, he always came up with something clever to say. Usually the next release I typed up would include those funny names or start out as a normal press release and then, as I was typing, I would realize that he was writing a story about me, and would just sit at my desk laughing. Those co-workers were great role models in my life, and of all the jobs I've had in my working career, that time with them was one of my most favorite.

Pam and John had their own offices and Theresa and I shared the outside office. I was the last one hired in the department and by the time I starting working, all three of them had nice lamps on their desks, giving the office a different atmosphere than any of the other brightly overhead lights everywhere else. I ordered a lamp but in the meantime Theresa had to deal with the bright lights and not having a cool relaxed atmosphere.

The lamp took forever to come. I remember calling the store, which was located in the lobby of our building and being told that it still wasn't in and they would call when it was. It got ridiculous after a while, and Theresa was itching to get the lighting atmosphere back to the office we shared.

One time Pam was out of town on business and Theresa asked me to call downstairs again and ask where the lamp was. I got the same answer, still on order and as soon as it came in I would be notified. When I told Theresa she decided to call back and pretend she was Pam, was outraged and demanded that the lamp be put on special order and delivered as soon as possible. I think the lamp arrived a day or two after. When the lamp came, Pam was still out of town and Theresa and John were out at lunch, but my friend Karen was around and helped me unpack the box.

When we unpacked the lamp, it seemed like there was cardboard wrapped around the base of the lamp. We both tried to peal it off, but that wasn't so easy, then we got a razor blade and cut the cardboard off the lamp. Not easy either, it seemed like this cardboard was really stuck on! After slicing down the middle of the lamp we were both shocked to learn that the cardboard was what the lamp was made of and we had just ruined it, we sawed it in half!

We didn't know what to do. We moved the evidence from my desk and into Pam's office so no one would see what we had done and tried to glue it back together. This was not working! Before using the razor blade, the pieces we were ripping off the lamp were not easy to put back together and the lamp actually looking better sawed in half!! John walked into the office and Karen and I, looking as guilty as a kids being caught with their hands in the cookie jar, jumped in front of the sawed in half lamp to hide it from John who knew instantly something was up. When he saw the lamp, he did his usual slap on the top of his bald head, saying, oh, what did you girls do, you're in trouble, I can't believe you sawed a lamp in half! I was also freaking out about the fact that Theresa had also pretended to be Pam, throwing the weight of her title around, and threatening to stop having any business with the store.

John said I should bring the lamp back, which I wanted no part of! I wasn't going down to the store and telling them I sawed this lamp in half! Karen told John she would go with him and I was so relieved. At least I didn't have to explain this disaster! We packed it up and sealed the box. When they got down to the store, John called me and said he really thought I should be the one to return the lamp. I didn't want to, but reluctantly went down to the lobby to meet John and return the lamp and explain to the store manager what happened. When the manager came up to us, I was nervous and all I could utter was that this wasn't the kind of lamp I thought I had ordered. The man just took the box from me, didn't open the box, never looked inside and said no problem, we'll take it back. I looked at John, like, do I have to add the fact that the lamp has been sawed in half? I don't remember what John said but we did leave the store without me adding anymore to the explanation. I was so relieved, though still worried at some point they might open that box and then what would happen?

Weeks, maybe even a few months passed by and no word about the lamp. I actually started to forget and not worry. Until one day when the Controller of the company called my office. He was a great guy but on this call he sounded angry, asking me what did I do to that lamp? How could I return it to the store sawed in half! The store was ready to call the president of the company. I was flipping out, I grabbed the phone to the corner of my desk and walked into Pam's office, stretching the wire to reach John as he was by the office door talking with her. Trying very hard not to let Pam know what was going on, I told John, Frank was on the phone and wanted to know about the lamp. John took the phone but after only a minute or so handed it back to me and told me Frank just wanted to talk to me. By this time I may not have been crying, but I was scared and tears were welling up in my eyes. When I got back on the phone, Frank just told me to come to his office to continue the discussion. His office wasn't too far from mine, I ran down the hall and by the time I got there I was crying, I didn't want to lose my wonderful job over this lamp!

I got to Franks office and every one in the entire firm was waiting there, with Pam and John right behind me. Surprise! Happy Birthday!!! I was so frazzled, I forgot it was my birthday. And even with every one in the office smiling and greeting me I was still crying. I still thought about the lamp and and being in hot water! Frank, Pam and John felt so bad I was crying, but that still didn't stop them from laughing too for being able to pull off such a great surprise. It had been a perfect plan to keep me off track about my birthday and my surprise. Well it worked! It took me a bit of time to calm down and to notice my birthday present, a life sized cut-out poster of Bruce with a back board so it could stand all by itself. One of my favorite birthday gifts!

I had it sitting behind my desk for years until I left RKO and worked in the financial world downtown. I don't think my life-sized Bruce poster would have gone over too well in that atmosphere! I took my poster home and it hung on my walls for many years until I grew out having posters all over my room.

I only have pictures now of that awesome poster and it will forever remind me of that silly cardboard lamp, the creative, talented people I worked with at the time and as always my love of Bruce Springsteen.

Heart Made Happy Birthdays

In honor of what would have been my mom's birthday today, I'd like to share some heart made birthday ideas that can make them so memorable for those you love.

At some point, my mom used to put Post-It notes all over the house on our birthdays. I would wake up and see them everywhere I turned. From my bedroom, to the bathroom, to going into the kitchen and making my cup of coffee and walking out the door, a little note from my mom that said happy birthday. I smiled every note I found. But I know as happy as those notes made me, my mom was so excited doing it, so filled with love. Reading between the lines and knowing that every note meant "I love you". I can imagine her sitting down, writing our little notes and thinking about nothing but me. I can imagine her beautiful smile as she was putting them up all over the house knowing this simple little note was going to make her children happy. I can't look at yellow Post-It note without smiling in my heart.

On our birthday, there was always a home made cake, actually there was always home made cake in our house! On our birthdays we got to pick our favorite. When my niece Irene was two, my mom baked a few cakes and told her she could do whatever she wanted with two them, they were hers. She could stick her tiny little fingers in the cakes and lick the icing off, she could have the all the icing and not eat the cake, she could smash them, she could smooch it in someone's face, whatever she wanted. Irene, who was the center of attention being the only grandchild at the time, often sat on the dining room table entertaining us so she was right up close to these cakes. She was beaming! I don't think she even knew what to do at first. Wait a minute, I can stick my fingers in the cake? Who tells a kid that they can do that to their birthday cake? How many kids do you know that just want to stick their fingers in and taste the icing, only eat the icing? All of them!

Irene doesn't remember that day as she was so young, but she has seen pictures, she has heard the story many times and tells it now herself. Irene called her mother's mom Grandma and my mom was Grandma Cake. I guess that birthday was the start of that endearing nickname. I bet Irene can't look at a cake, taste a cake or even hear the word "cake" without thinking of her Grandma Cake.

Years ago I worked for an attorney named Lori. She was a mom and also a wonderful photographer. She had a lot of pictures of her work in her office. Before she was a mom, there were lots of nature shots but after her son Sam was born, everything was Sam and she really took some interesting shots. She loved to take pictures of him from behind, loved to see the little shape of his shoulders as he sat in the sand, or the back of head, and the little wrinkles babies have on their necks. As he got older those pictures also captured some moments better than the ones of his face. I don't know if you agree, but I haven't met a kid who doesn't ham it up and love having their picture taken. And as beautiful as these children we love are, their smiles are forced and you're not catching a true smile, a real moment. I love taking pictures of the kids when they don't know, well not just kids, anyone. It's great when you take just one picture and capture so much more.

For Sam's birthdays, Lori took pictures of Sam, first each month, and then after 2 years old, on his actual birthday. Each picture she made a little sign that said "I'm 1 Month Old Today" or "I'm 1 Years Old Today", etc., etc., etc. When Sam looks at those pictures as an adult I hope he reads between the lines, I hope he sees the photographer behind those pictures, the love his mother had, celebrating her time with him more than counting his birthdays.

Below are pictures from one of my birthdays. I love the look on my niece Jessie's face. She's tickled pink with the unconventional birthday cake. That silly banana cake made my birthday special. Jessie was thinking about me, she was sharing my laughter, my happiness, it's what made my birthday and these pictures memorable.

So simple, so easy.
You don't have to buy it in a store and what you get back from it you can't buy in a store.

Happy Birthday to you if today is your birthday and a very Merry Unbirthday to all the rest!

My Mom and Football

Tomorrow, I wish, would have been my mom's 83rd birthday. She was an awesome woman. My cousin Sandra described her perfectly to me recently. She said she didn't realize it until she was older and her children loved one of their aunts in a very special way. She told me she just felt the love radiating from my mother and that's what she noticed with her children and their aunt, they just felt her love and loved her in return. She didn't have to buy them anything or take them all over the place, or see them every day, she just loved them.

My mom was a big sports fan. She grew up with the Brooklyn Dodgers and became a Met fan. She taught my brothers how to keep score and there were always pieces of loose leaf paper all over the house with my mom's score sheets. She went to all their baseball games and football games and I was dragged along from as far back as I can remember until I was old enough to stay home. I am not a sports fan. I can enjoy a football game here and there, baseball bores me and when Michael Jordan was playing for the Chicago Bulls I couldn't get enough of basketball. I do enjoy watching my nephews (and nieces) play sports, it's different than it was watching my brothers. I'm sure you understand. Well, I hope you're as lucky as me to understand!!

Everything was sports growing up in my house, my mom, my dad and four brothers of course, and even one of my sisters is a crazy football fan. I remember coming home sometimes and there would be two TVs in the living room and they would be watching whatever sports were crossing seasons. It was crazy. Superbowl Sunday was the biggest holiday in our family. My mom loved those Sundays. She would make up songs and chant at our parties, get everybody going. Her favorite football team was the Jets and she loved Joe Namath. My cousins, aunts and uncles are also pretty much all sports fans, I'm surrounded by them. My friends too. Again, I can enjoy a game or two but that enjoyment didn't come until years after my mom passed away.

I've written in my blog before how I always wanted to be an actress which is something my mom didn't want for me. She didn't want me to be a part of that life and I can understand now why she was so concerned. She wanted me to get married and have a family. She had that and she couldn't have been a happier person. She was always trying to get me dates, that was her main concern. If she was alive today, I know she still would be trying to find me a husband, it would be her main goal.

One of my brothers is a fireman and our family had all attended a party after his wedding so he could invite a lot of his fellow firefighters. It was a great party and lots of fun but the wedding had started 8 in the morning and it was a long day. I'm sure I was at the second party pretty late, but not as late as my mom, which was usual of me and her. This was her chance to find me a husband in a sea of firemen without me watching her and stopping her from doing it. My mom and aunt took turns calling me and telling me to come back and meet this one, that one, I can only imagine what the two of them were saying.

My mom used to give me sports lines that she said I should use to strike up conversations. And trust me, I don't need any lines to strike up a conversation. I talk to everyone and have pretty much found that an easy thing to do my whole life. I remembering her telling me to say "that Doug Flutie, what a pass". I told her she was crazy. I didn't want to talk about sports anymore, my whole life I was drenched in sports, I had enough sports! And what would I say after asking about Doug's pass? She would just give me more lines. I wanted to be an actress, act! Don't get me wrong, my mom didn't want me to be a phony, she just wanted me to get married. It's funny I ended up dating a guy for many years who was a ridiculous sports fan. He was obsessed with sports and drove me crazy. I think if my mom had met him she would have stopped giving me sports lines to lure men in because that sports fan wasn't worthy of me. She wouldn't have stopped looking for a husband though!

The video clip attached is from the ending credits of the movie "Wildcats" starring Goldie Hawn. I remember the first time I heard this rap I thought of me and my mother. The way Goldie sounds just saying "football". It sounds off and kooky and I always think that's how I would sound using my mom's football lines. Enjoy it's cute!

FDNY Fearless Firemen

On this 9/11 ten year anniversary, I offer my prayers and condolences to those who lost loved ones that horrible day. May all those souls rest in peace.

I have respect and am so proud of those who offered up their lives to go into the Trade Center and Pentagon and save people, the ones that died that day, the ones that were lucky enough to get out safely, and the ones that continued to work at ground zero on 9/11. They swarmed the World Trade Center area even though they could have been in further danger. My brother was still an active member of the FDNY that day, my family was lucky, my brother came home.

God Bless those on Flight 93 that crashed in Shanksville, Pennsylvania, who somehow averted that flight from crashing into wherever that plane was heading and killing more people.

To those that continued to work at ground zero, in dangerous and unhealthy conditions. The men and women in service to our country before 9/11 and who joined up after 9/11.
Thank you, thank you so much for what you did that day and continue to do today.

This morning I took my niece Bella to church. She's 6 years old. When I picked her up, she and her brothers and dad were horsing around and the TV was on with coverage of the new memorial at the World Trade Center site. They weren't really paying attention but when me and Bella got into the car she said to me, "You know, I don't really know what happened that day, I know there was a fire in buildings but that's all I know." I told her that some bad men crashed big planes into the buildings. She said "and they died too? Well they're stupid, they died too." I told her she was right. She changed the subject quickly, said she wanted to talk about forest fires. So we talked about that for the rest of the ride. She asked what she wanted and that was enough for her. I know she has more questions, but for now, she didn't want to know those answers.

Unfortunately Bella knows a little about death and specifically the death of a firefighter, I think that had something to do with ending the conversation so quickly, she's seen people in her family be very sad about that. On January 23, 2005, Bella and her brothers lost their Uncle Richie, Firefighter Richard T. Sclafani of Ladder Company 103, Brooklyn, NY. Bella was born the previous month and never knew her uncle and her brothers were only 4 and 2. The boys talk about him a lot, but I don't think they remember their uncle. The 3 of them know and remember their uncle through pictures and stories they hear and memorials they have attended.

I didn't know Richie that well. I saw him at a few family functions but he was a quiet guy when I was around him. I couldn't get a sense of the man I met but Richie and I are godparents to our nephew Robert and I do remember him being so happy and proud that he was godfather to this beautiful boy, the first child of his only sibling, JoAnn. He was beaming that day. He spent a lot of his free time with his nephews.

When he died I didn't attend the funeral, although I wanted to. I was watching Bella and her brothers. I knew I was paying my respect to him in a way that was needed and during the time I heard stories from the wonderful fellow firefighters who came to help the family with absolutely everything. I heard stories through his sister. Stories about Richie from people in his past. People who maybe just crossed paths with Richie for a year or less and others who knew him longer. He was funny, kind, brave. He was single and worked holidays so the married men could be with their families. I'm sure he approached every fire he fought with the same feeling, let me go before the guy with a family. He was selfless. He was humble, never boasting of his good deeds. He was at ground zero, lucky that day and then taken so soon after.

My niece and nephews, their children and future generations of their family will be able to learn about Richie, when it will matter to them, as when we are young we take it for granted that our loved ones will be with us forever. They will be able to look up on line and read about Richie, see his picture and read newspaper articles about what happened to him. Maybe someday they will read my blog and see what I learned about their uncle.

And really important to me is that they, my other nieces, nephews, and the future generations of my family will learn a little about the bravest most fearless fireman I was blessed to know.

My father died when I was 7 years old. I don't remember him, hazy stuff, it's more that I know he was with me, the memory is of me, not him. I didn't really see him too often as he was working 2 jobs at the time. When he died I was one of five children and my mom was pregnant with number six. I can't imagine how hard that was for my mom, I only know of some things because my older brothers' remember, they were 11, 12 and 13, and my mom's sister tells me about that time too.

Sometime in late 1967 or early 1968, my mom was introduced to Bo by a mutual friend. Bo had been told that she had a 15 year old son. He asked her if she had any other children and she told him, you name the age, I have the child. They dated after for a short time and then quickly decided to get married. I can't believe the love this man had for my mom, I mean I know she was beautiful, inside and out, and how easy she was to love, but as I grew into an adult, I couldn't believe how crazy he was to do that. Brave, fearless.

The six of us were being raised Catholic, my father's religion. My mom was Protestant and not very religious, my father was. That is one of my hazy memories, going to church with him many times at very young age and his snazzy hat sitting on the pew or his lap.

Bo was Jewish, something I only heard in religion classes learning about Jesus and the Old Testament. But I'll never forget when my mom told me she was marrying Bo, the happiness in her face. I don't remember her being sad prior to that. I think I probably knew but didn't want to face it, those memories are buried deep inside of me, and I believe make up certain parts of my personality.

Some of Bo's family readily accepted us in their lives, but his mom wasn't so happy, she almost through herself off the balcony of her building! Her oldest son marrying a woman with six Catholic kids. That was not common during that time. She came around after a few years. I think she realized how happy Bo was. He was meant to be where he was.

My brothers at the time were in their teens and it was a difficult battle in that way for Bo. They remembered my father, who was a very strict man. During the short period of time between my father dying and my mom remarrying Bo, the boys didn't have that fear of getting in trouble from our dad, my mom was much more easy going. She was one of those moms that said, wait until your father gets home. They abused that freedom, even with some of my uncles looking out for them. Bo made a difference in their lives in a really big way, they grew to love and respect him and became hard-working adults. I don't know how life would have turned out for any of us without Bo, but especially my older brothers.

For me and my younger sisters it was different. Bo is the only father we knew. Especially my youngest sister who called him daddy from her earliest memory. Though my sister Linda and I never called him daddy, we don't refer to him as our step-father, Bo was our father. We just called him Bo from the day we met him. By the time we felt he was our father, I think calling him daddy was a foreign word to us. We do refer to him as daddy when we talk about him. We say, "when daddy did this, or said this". I notice when I talk to my older brothers, I say, "when Bo did this, or said this" and I know they refer to him as their step-father. They don't love or respect Bo any less, it's just they remember our first father and we don't.

When Bo got married to my mom he was working in a busy firehouse, Engine Company 230 in Bedford-Stuyvesant Brooklyn. I remember him coming home and smelling of smoke, looking green or grey and sick from being at a bad fire. Their equipment was nothing like it is today. But my mom got pregnant again, number seven now, "OUR" youngest brother, and made Bo move from Bedford-Stuyvesant to a firehouse in Sheepshead Bay, Engine Company 246, which wasn't as busy, still dangerous, but not like Engine Company 230. My Aunt Margie, Bo's sister, lived a few blocks away from 230 and has 3 daughters close in age to me and my sisters and we spent a lot of time together growing up. Aunt Margie always accepted us and loved Bo tremendously. We would go to the firehouse and get ice cream from a freezer that looked like one in the stores, filled with tons of ice cream pops, for free! We made him slide down the poll dozens of times and played on the fire truck. One time while spending the night at Aunt Margie's apartment, there was a small fire across the street. After the fire was put out, Bo shined the light up to Aunt Margie's terrace, he knew I was delighted.

Bo never called us his step children, he referred to us as his children. In my eyes and in my heart, I never felt that Bo loved my youngest brother more than me and my brothers and sisters, never. He loved my mother and part of my mother was us. That's what he told people from day one, if she had 10 kids or no kids, I would have married her, I loved her.

They had a short but beautiful marriage. My mom passed away first, and she was very sick. Bo kept her at home and took care of her when doctors told him she should be in a hospice. But Bo wouldn't do it, he stayed by her side and took care of her until way past being necessary for her to be in a hospice.

He took care of us after that, he was so sad and missed my mom but he had us, we were his life and we meant the world to him, and he told us, often. I am lucky in another way. My family has always been super loving. I don't end any phone call or visits with my family and most of my friends without saying I love you, it's just what I'm used to. It's how I grew up, with love.

Attending Catholic school I remember asking Bo questions about his religion. I remember asking him if he believed in Jesus and he told me he believed Jesus was a good man, an important man in history, but no, he didn't believe what I was being taught, he was taught something different. I grew up in a home respecting that difference. I never thought he was wrong and I was right, or the opposite of that. I grew up knowing it was just a difference in us, like the color of our hair or eyes and skin, we just are who we are, not wrong or right, just different.

Bo passed away in 1992, he suffered a short time with cancer and died just a few days shy of his 60th birthday. Too young. He left everything he had to his seven children.

We were more than blessed to have Bo in our lives. We were so lucky that he was crazy in love with my mom and married her. He jumped into a life that was beyond anything he was used to in so many ways. He gave up some of his family because they wouldn't accept us. They lost out. They missed seeing how happy he was.

I know sometimes people don't understand why God lets so many bad things happen, me to a lot of times. Some people say that God has a plan, we just don't know what it is. Sometimes I think that maybe God's plan when my father died, leaving my mom pregnant with five kids, in a horrible sad situation was the plan...the plan for Bo to be in our lives, for "OUR" youngest brother to be in our lives and his children, my precious Bella, Robert and Jojo. I can't imagine my life without them.

Bo was fearless, brave and so loving. Before I met him and for a years after, until he worked light duty, due to an injury, he fought many dangerous fires, putting his life on the line as firemen do. I am proud to be the daughter of this man, my father, the fearless fireman.

When Bo married my mom, his fellow firefighters jokingly awarded him the "Fearless Fireman Award". Little did they know how right they were.

I've created many projects designing fake newspaper and magazine covers. I try to get the newspaper covers from on line to get the look of the newspapers from the real dates of the times. Below I used Bo's picture for a birthday card, which I made for another brave fireman in my life, my friend Tommy and the 1968 front page cover of the Daily News. Bo is second to the left in these pictures. I also designed the flyer for Richie's street-naming ceremony pictured above.

Again for those that died ten years ago today, may they rest in peace.