Now and Then

Now I live a life of right now. My phone rings and I answer it right now. I get a text and I text back right away. I need something from the store and I can go to a 24 hour deli within walking distance to my home to get pretty much anything I need or drive not too far and get again pretty much anything...now.

Then...then was slower, then was not right now. Then was "as soon as possible" which meant to me, as soon as I can get to it, no rush. Now it's ASAP and it doesn't mean what it meant then, it means right now. Does changing the words to an acronym, making it capital letters, make it mean something different? I've found out for many people it does.

Was it always that way? Did it always mean whenever you get a chance when you said as soon as possible and then mean right now when you said ASAP? I kinda think it's just part of now. Now everything is right now.

My 11 year old nephew Robert loved the movie The Wizard of Oz when he was about 2 or so, called Dorothy, Dot. Watched it all the time on video and would rewind it and watch it again as I've seen many of my nieces and nephews do. I myself will watch a movie many times over, but not right away, I don't think I've ever watched a movie and then started it from the beginning.

One year the family was gathered at my Aunt Libby and Uncle Richie's house for Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, I can't remember which, but Robert was in the kitchen watching The Wizard of Oz on TV, the first time he had ever watched the movie on TV as opposed to watching his own copy of the video on the VCR. At one point my cousin Doug came running out of the kitchen all worried because Robert was crying and really upset. A bunch of us went into the kitchen and found out that Robert was upset because there was a commercial break during the movie. He didn't know what a commercial was. He began his life in the "now" era, right now, ASAP. It took a while but we got him calmed down, tried as best to explain what a commercial was, that Dorothy, Dot, was coming back, very soon. And of course it wouldn't be long before commercials became a good thing to him, as with all kids. The "I want that" for every commercial with toys or cereal and candy. And of course, I want that now. Order it on the computer mom, dad, now.

Now. We all want everything right now and I miss then, when it might have been inconvenient sometimes to not be able to get anything I wanted right away...now...but it was easier, less stressful...then.

Then. Any day I could laze around, read, watch a movie, not answer the phone, no one knew where I was, what I was doing. There were no answering machines, no caller ID, I didn't know who called and if it was important, I knew whoever it was would call back. I knew if the phone rang off the hook it was important. Of course there were quite a few of my younger brother or sister's friends just being a pain in the you know what, but mostly it was important when the phone rang like that. And "then" using the phone as a kid was rare, I can't remember using the phone until I was a teen. I know now kids use phones way before being a teen, way before. My 7 year old niece Bella wants a phone and has told us how many people she could already call and text if she did have a phone, all family, all adults. But she wants a phone. Now.

I talk to parents "now" and they want to be in touch with their kids every second of the day and I totally understand that. I'm neurotic, I would be a worrying parent. I worry enough about my nieces, nephews, and the rest of my family and friends, I would be a loony tunes as a mom!

But "then" when I went out with my friends in my late teens and early 20s, my parents always went to bed their regular time. They knew who I was with, where I was going. They didn't know when I would be home, or if my plans would change, they went to sleep and I was never asked to call them, unless I needed them. The one and only phone was downstairs in the kitchen. And if it was really important and I needed to call them, I would just ring the phone for as long as it took to wake them, which wouldn't be too long, again we all know what long phone rings meant. Then.

Now and then. So many differences, so many changes. Where will it end? I fear the future will be even crazier for the kids and teens of today. Right now they are in school and texting is their way of communicating. I've seen my younger nieces texting while they are at family parties. Now. They have to be in touch with their friends right now. When I went to family or friends' parties with my parents yes, there were a few times we went places that were boring and I at least always had my younger sister Linda to hang with so I was lucky, but usually we ended up joining in the socializing at the party, talking to family and friends, even though we were forced to attend, we ended up having a good time, there was not much else to entertain us...then. Now kids just text all day to their friends, all day. Is that good? Is that a good way to socialize? Shortcuts for every word too! It took me years to learn what lol was. First had no idea and then thought it meant lots of love, but it's laugh out loud, in case you're like me. And you know I really do laugh out loud when I read some texts or comments on Facebook and write that and mean it, but for most it's just become a sign off, lol. Then laughing out loud was something you did. Now it's lol and it's something you just write and don't do.

What happens when kids today have fuller lives, working, more family, their own children, more friends? Will they continue the instant, now, ASAP way of life? Will we have wrist watches like the Dick Tracy comic book watch? A watch where you can talk and see the person, right now. I think it will be, very soon. Will a parent be in the living room in the future watching a movie and talk into their watch to say goodnight to their child upstairs or check and see if they are doing their homework? Will husbands and wives do the same thing. Now, ASAP, is not always the best. I can't imagine more of right now, instantly, ASAP!

Then, if I was hungry at night, wanted a little snack and didn't have any chips or cookies left I would always have graham crackers or saltines which I would use to make little jelly sandwiches, not a peanut butter fan, but they were in the cabinet, jelly in the fridge, a fried egg sandwich on toast, toast with butter and cinnamon, I haven't had that in years, just stuff that was always just there, then...

Now if I'm hungry at night I can microwave anything from breakfast, lunch, dinner and snacks in seconds and if I don't have it at home right now I can go to the store and get what I need, now...

There is one great thing I can say about the now, technology wise, ASAP wise, now. I'm never lonely, alone yes, but never lonely. I can get in touch with pretty much anyone at anytime, especially when it's important. I can get help or love right now.

But I do have to remember, as I think a lot of us do, to be a little more "then" like...kinda "Zen" like. As much as I live in the now where I belong, I always have to keep the then on the back burner. Take it easy, do things as soon as possible, make toast with butter and cinnamon. Not answer the phone, not text back right away.

Zen is a way of being. A state of mind. Zen means ignoring illusion, seeing without distortion created by what's going on in your head.

Then is also a state of being, a state of mind. Then means ignoring the right now, the ASAP, seeing without the distortion created by instant gratification, living a simpler, less stressful life.

I've had a "then" day, no stress, no ASAP and "now" I feel clearer, relaxed, more myself.

Remember the Then when you're in the Now.