My Dear Trish, I've Only Just Moved

We may never be able to see each other the way we did before I moved. We can't hug each other and talk to each other the way it was before, but my dear daughter, I've only just moved.

I've moved to a place that is hard for you to imagine, even harder for you to understand. Where I moved is so much like what people dream and imagine, yet more and different, something it's not time for you to understand. You're not ready. No one living where you do is ready.

I know how much you miss me. I know you think of me often and wish I could have been with you longer, as much as you were an adult when I moved, you were still just my little girl and needed me. I know you need me still.

Just know that I am with you. I am in your heart and soul. I've always been there and I know sometimes you feel me and you question yourself. You think, was that you mom. Yes Trish it's me.

I moved to a place where I am not sick, not sad, not young and not old. I am more. I'm a daughter here, a sister and a mom, a wife, and a great grand daughter, a great great great grand daughter, a cousin, a niece and again, more than you can understand from where you've living. Yet always remember all those parts of me are in you, they always were, from the time you started becoming you, inside of me.

I remember when I told you I was remarrying after your father had moved here. You were so happy for me, right away. But you did ask me what I would do when I got here. You said, but mom what will happen when we all go to heaven, who will you be married to. I told you not to worry about that, somehow it would all be okay.

I didn't really know the answer that day. But it's one of those questions that I answered the right way. I told you everything would be okay and that's all you wanted to know. Now I know the answer and I can tell you again that's it's okay, it's more than okay but also so hard for me to explain to you any better than that.

When there's a warm breeze blowing your hair out of your face and beautiful brown eyes, that's me pushing your hair out of your face and especially your eyes so you can see me. When your heart soars with so much happiness and you're filled with love, I am part of the beats of your heart. When you cry, I am always hugging you. Try to feel it, it's different than it was before but I know if you try, you will feel me.

Remember I've only just moved my Trish, but I am with you more now than I was when we lived in the same place and it will be a long time before you fully understand.

Just keep me in your heart for now and remember I'm always in yours. And by the way, Aunt Ruth arrived last night, there were so many of us here to greet her and she feels the love like we all do.

Love Mom

I dedicate today's blog to my cousins, the Young's, the Oniskey's, any who are family and friends to the Young's, those Young at Heart.

Their mom, grandmother, great grandmother, cousin, friend, my Aunt Ruth moved last night.

I hope they all see, hear, sense, and feel her as I have learned to do.