I Ain't Down Yet!

I can't let another blog go by without paying tribute to my favorite movie stars of all time, Debbie Reynolds. I'm sure those who know me wondered when this would come up. Well here it goes.

I obviously named my beloved pet Molly Brown after one of Debbie's most famous roles, Molly Brown in "The Unsinkable Molly Brown". Her motto, no matter what trouble she faced, was "I Ain't Down Yet".

I grew up watching musicals with my mom, listening to her show tune records, Frank Sinatra, Johnny Mathis, so many more, I loved the music and the movies. I remember watching "White Christmas" with my mom and at the end of the movie the inn keeper is honored by his old army buddies with a song "We'll Follow the Old Man", I cry every time he enters the room and sees all the men that came to honor him. It's a beautiful moment, for what it means in the movie and because I shared that moment with my mom.

But Debbie Reynolds was my favorite. I loved so many of her movies, "Tammy and the Bachelor", "The Singing Nun" and of course "The Unsinkable Molly Brown". There was even a short time she had a TV Show, kind of like Lucy and Ethel in "I Love Lucy" always getting in trouble with her neighbor. She was funny, she could sing and dance and I dreamed of having the same kind of career. My first Broadway show was "Irene" starring Debbie Reynolds. I had no idea what Broadway was like or what it meant to the acting world but I was in awe from the moment the orchestra starting playing. It was magic, a place to escape from the real world and even if I couldn't have a career like hers, I would do anything, be in the chorus, work backstage, the whole world was one of wonder and fantasy to me. I even met Debbie 3 times in my life. Once after the show Irene, she came out in the lobby and autographed playbills for anyone who wanted and so many people did. I couldn't say a word, I was about 12 I guess, and I in total awe. The second time, not long after I waited by the stage door for her to arrive for her show and she invited me backstage. There were other people there and they were saying such nice things but again I couldn't say a word. Not like me at all! The third time I was in my mid 30s and she was playing in Atlantic City. As a kid I would write to her all the time, telling her how great she was and how I wanted to be just like her. I got to speak to her manager who actually remembered my name! I guess you could have called me an obsessed fan! But here was my chance to just thank her for sharing her wonderful talent and making people laugh, be happy, especially me. Well this time I did talk but I made absolutely no sense! I would start a sentence with one thought and end it with another, I was babbling! I think I made her a little dizzy. But my friend took this picture and I think you can tell how happy I am.



And my blog called "Molly Made Me Do It" is more than Molly just being my muse. I had suffered a terrible depression before having Molly in my life. Life really hit my family with "sucker punches" as my niece commented in one of my blogs. One after another, in a very short period of time. I lost hope and concentrated on what I lost instead of what I had. Naming Molly was as much for my love of Debbie Reynolds as it was for the real Molly Brown. The real Molly Brown was a fighter, she changed her life, she changed many peoples' lives. She was on the Titanic and kept the people on her life raft sane by pushing them to go on, to survive. My Molly did that for me. She was my hope. She kept me "up". I had to take care of her, and as much as I took care of her, she took care of me more. She gave me unconditional love. She was just happy to see me no matter what. I had to make sure she was fed and walked and loved, that was the easy part and I got so much in return. I wasn't down yet.

Even after losing Molly, I was beyond sad, and I still miss her very much, but she's inside me, the lessons I learned about what was important and what didn't matter. She changed me, maybe not to the same exact person I was before, but I'm a little stronger, I truly am happy because I try to look for the good in everyone and everything. I found a new me and a new outlook on life. I still have have bad days, I'm always struggling financially and even today my car wouldn't start and it was right after I took my niece to church! I just did a good thing! I can't say that I wasn't a little upset, but I didn't cry. I walked home and just decided to take it one minute at a time. I worked yesterday, it could have happened then, being stuck in New Jersey and not being able to walk home or having to bother someone to come and pick me up. It was in a safe place, close enough to walk home, in my little neighborhood town where I've made friends with most of the merchants, we know each other by name, I can ask them to look out for my car. All good things. I Ain't Down Yet.

I decided on my walk home to concentrate on the good in my life, and trust me I may not be rich, but I am blessed beyond most people's dreams. I have so many loving family members, friends, I have a job, it may drive me crazy, but I have a job! I have my health and worrying will just cause me to not feel good inside and out. I got home and started my blog. A good practice to get your mind off your worries is keeping busy. For me, keeping busy is doing my little art projects and writing this blog, but even cleaning your house, straightening up the closets, listening to music while you work, escaping into a great book, it all keeps you from being down. We can choose. We can choose to be in a bad mood or a good mood, to see the glass half fall or half empty. I'm a "cockeyed optimist". I learned a lot from having Molly in my life.

I walked back into town a couple of hours later and the car started up! I think I put good vibes out in the universe and they came back to me. I took it to the gas station and they won't be able to look at it until the morning but I'm hoping it's something that can be fixed (and not too expensive!) And the man at the gas station, well he wasn't exactly in the best mood, told me my car is probably falling apart. Then apologized, said he was having a bad day. I chose to ignore his opinion of my car and wished him a better day. Ida will be okay. Ida is what I named my car, one of my great grandmother's names, always thanking her for keeping me safe and getting me to where I've got to be! So far she's taken real good care of me so I'm throwing out my positive vibes that my Ida will come through for me...I Ain't Down Yet!

Below are some of my favorite Debbie Reynolds songs from her movies, the old preview when "The Unsinkable Molly Brown" was released, which includes her line "I Ain't Down Yet!" And though not Debbie Reynolds, but a great scene from her movie, "Singing in the Rain". Jean Hagen as "Lina Lamont" at a diction lesson...a classic line,

"And I can't stand him".

Most of these youtube links you will be able to open from my blog but a couple will say you need to go to YouTube. I hope you do, they are great clips, especially the line from Jean Hagen!









The clip below is Abba Dabba Honeymoon. I sang this song to all my nieces and nephews when they were babies, and I loved when they would sing it back to me, I hope they feel some little memory in their hearts if they ever by chance hear this song.



And I guess her most famous song is this one, Tammy.




Debbie Reynolds has had her own share of problems, stardom didn't give her an easy life. If you're too young to know, Debbie and her first husband Eddie Fisher were the classic Hollywood love story until he left her for Elizabeth Taylor, it's been compared to the Jennifer Anniston/Brad Pitt saga in the news today. Sad enough your marriage breaks up but everywhere you look your life is making headlines. Even her daughter, Carrie Fisher, a big star, a sex symbol from the "Star Wars" films, she's had her share of problems, now one of those is struggling to lose weight. Somehow these woman survived and keep on going. I may not have a career like Debbie Reynolds or even her daughter, who is also an accomplished writer, but they both ain't down yet and neither am I.

And as much as Debbie Reynolds has been an inspiration to me, there was none bigger than my mom, the biggest star in my life. She loved the simple things and appreciated them and taught us all that. She wasn't impressed by jewelry or expensive gifts, or having fancy clothes. I think her favorite thing was sharing a family dinner, with all those she loved enjoying a simple good meal together, sharing our days, our love.

She's one of those bright stars you see in the sky at night, shining down and showing me the way.

I Ain't Down Yet!