Cause we're cousins, identical cousins and you'll find...

A few months after I was born my family moved from Brooklyn to Long Island and my Aunt Libby was still living with us at that time too. My father loved it, my mom and Aunt Libby not so much. They grew up in Brooklyn, as did my dad, but it was a different way of life out there and they missed their lives in Brooklyn, family still lived in the neighborhood, being able to walk to all kinds of stores, and even our only grandma still lived in Brooklyn too.

I really don't remember living in Long Island as we moved back to Brooklyn when I was just about 5. But during that time we lived close to my father's brother and his family and spent so much time together. We all loved each other very much, and though I just have some blurred memories of being together as kids I remember their house, their yard, which of course seemed to be so big. The swings were behind a big bunch of trees and we called it the forest. They had a teepee back there too, but my biggest memory is the red cardboard brick blocks in the front room. We loved to play with those blocks, all of us making forts and enjoying this simple toy for hours. And most of all I always remembered the love we had for each other.

As I've written before, it is so hard to keep in touch with all the people in our lives. Even our own families. One of my brothers lives in Florida and I hardly get to see him or his family. When we do get together it's even better than it was growing up. Our age differences don't matter anymore. We love watching all our nieces and nephews loving each other, loving their family. We really are an especially close family. My brother in law Mike used to joke that we made the Waltons look dysfunctional!

Even with my sisters. Before they were moms we talked on the phone pretty much every day. My brothers-in-laws couldn't understand what we possibly could have to talk about every day and for so long. Now my sisters are moms, they work, they have so much going on with their kids. I work weird hours, we don't have phone conversations that often any more. It just happens, not because you don't care or don't want to speak to each other, there's just too much going on in our lives. Before the job I have now, I spent 4 hours a day just commuting to and from work, that took out a big chunk of my time.

Facebook, I know, has created problems for people, marriages, friendships, kids bullying, etc. But for me it has been a wonderful way to find old friends, to every once in a while just say "hi" which for me means I know you're out there, just letting you know I care, you're in my heart. Even just the intial hello and not being in contact after that, we've acknowledged that we meant something to each other in our journey through life.

Unfortunately my family lost touch with our cousins in Long Island. My dad died, my mom remarried, our grandmother also passed away, then my cousins' dad, my Uncle Bill, passed away as well. We were growing up, we had friends and lives in our own neighborhoods, school, social activities, we should have made the time, but again I know how hard it is, even with your own family.

From the time I started being on line, I started searching for my cousins. I didn't know Sandra's married name but I did know Wendy's, I searched for years, and at one point I did find Sandra but it was a time we were both going through so much in our lives and again we lost touch. I searched on and off for years and because of Facebook I found them last year.

It has been an amazing year!

I talked to both Wendy and Sandra on the phone days after my first contact on Facebook. They both live in Colorado and at the time Wendy's daughter was due to give birth to her first child and was coming to New York as soon as her grandchild arrived. Of course she had to spend most of her time with her little grandson, Evan, the next generation of our family! But on her way back to Colorado we planned to meet.


We met at Grand Central Station by the big clock. I saw her first, and just from just from behind I could tell it was her. I waited a minute or so before approaching her, watching her look for me and I could tell she was as excited as me to be together again. It was a short visit, maybe about an hour, but it was wonderful, not awkward, very comfortable right away, we were a loving family, we never lost that.

Then in May Sandra came to New York for her friend's wedding and I was invited as her guest. She added a few days on to her trip and we had a small family reunion and again not awkward, we all got along just like we did as kids. And Steven came too. Unfortunately they, like us, lost a brother. We lost Michael and they lost Doug, both of whom I know would have been so happy to be together again, they were big time buddies as kids.


When Sandra was here it was amazing to find out how much we had in common, so many things. Even before she was here, I would be sending her an email and as I was hitting send on my email, my phone would beep that I just received a text and who was it from but Sandra. This has happened so many times I can't tell you. It happened again this morning.

She came here for a friend's wedding, a friend she met at her first job at Burger King, which was also my first job. When she was unpacking her bag, I looked at a pair of her shoes and asked if she just got them, she did, I went in my closet and showed her my new shoes, the very same ones. We found ourselves answering questions exactly the same way, at the same time. We are very much family!

We had a wonderful few days together, talking about our pasts, our present and our future together. She's even petite like me, as is Wendy, and I have to bust their chops about being smaller than me. I've always been the marker in my family as far as height is concerned. For each of my nieces and nephews it has been a milestone in their lives when they are taller than me, mostly by the time they are 10 to 12 years old! But now it's Wendy. She's the tinest and I'm taller than two members of my family!

When Sandra was here we also went to see her mom. My Aunt Joan is 85 years old and though she is in tremendous shape physically, she suffers from Alzheimers. Such a sad horrible disease. Here she is this beautiful, physically healthy woman and she doesn't know who her family is, even who she is. I will say that while I was visiting her, there were three times that I saw recognition in her face and she actually said to me "I knew the girl who was sitting there before." I don't know who she thought I was, I look a lot like her daughter Wendy and very much like my mom, she could have thought I was either of them, or maybe she did recognize me, but whoever she thought I was, she knew it was someone who loved her, I could see her whole face light up. I wish we had connected before this happened to my aunt, I would have loved to talk to her as an adult. She was a very organized woman, a classy dresser and beautiful. After our grandmother died she took all her pictures and put them together in a book. Steven brought the book to our little reunion and looking through these pictures was a blast. My grandparents in their younger days and all of us, my brothers and sisters, pictures of us growing up, our school photos, all pictures that we would have lost had they been in our house! We were always going through our boxes of pictures, taking them, not putting most back and now so many are gone. But Aunt Joan saved all that for us too, again we're family.

We just had another family reunion. Wendy came back to New York for her grandson's first birthday and her brother Steven and his fiance Nancy hosted a BBQ at their home when she first arrived. Steven and Nancy live in the house my cousins grew up in and being there was like coming home. The yard was smaller, the forest was just a few trees and the swings and the teepee are gone, the inside of the house has changed somewhat, but certain things are the same, it was surreal being there.

My sister Linda, brother Bob and his wife Janet also came to the BBQ and everyone was blown away at how much Wendy and I look alike and more act alike. It was amazing even for me, watching this woman use her hands while she talked, the expressions on her face, the way her whole tiny body moved while she talked, it was like I was watching myself in the mirror!

We may have missed a lot of years together, but none of us forgot the love we had and still have for each other. We are family and nothing will separate us now!!!

I'm so lucky!!!