Sarah at 15

15...15 years old.

Would you want to go back to that age?

I don't think many of us would answer yes.

It's a great age. It's great to be young and have your future in front of you, so many choices, so many paths to choose.

I remember myself being a 15 year old, I thought I was old enough for everything. I thought people who were old enough didn't know what they were talking about, they never felt like I felt, never experienced what I was going through. They so could not have been as cool as I was.

At 15, you think you have all the time in the world to do everything. Absolutely everything. And the words "I know, I know" are the answer to every lesson we are subjected to from our parents, teachers and elders. Famous words I guess for ages before and after 15. I know. My father had a sign hanging on our fridge. I don't remember the exact words but it was something like "you might as well quit school and leave home now because you know everything".

Fifteen though. A year away from the magical 16, a big milestone, especially for girls I guess, I can't speak for the young men. But I would guess it's a big deal for them. So many changes in your body and your mind.

I basically was never a shy kid or teen and I also knew I wasn't into a lot of the things my friends did. I would rather listen to my mom's Frank Sinatra albums, show tunes instead of rock 'n roll. Even my older brothers teased me about liking bubble gum music. I didn't want to smoke, drink, hang out in the park. But with all that I also didn't want to be uncool. I was lucky though, somehow I was drawn to people that may have been different, but accepted me for me, no judgment. I could hang with them when they were doing something I liked and not hang with them when it was something I just wasn't into. I was accepted as me. Mostly I think because I accepted who I was.

At 15 I loved being part of the Glee Club at school and going to school dances. Being involved in a group helps. At 15 I was still living in Brooklyn and at the end of my girl scout days, still going to meetings and events, going Christmas caroling and being invited in by strangers to have a cup of hot chocolate, sweet simple memories.

Although not a big sports fan, I still cheered my school on at all their games and even still attended games at my old grammar school across the street, loved being part of the team spirit. I still played basketball games in the schoolyard across the street, stoop ball, hand ball, bike riding. Things a 15 year old could enjoy that were fun.

Do I envy youth and their glowing beauty. Yes! I would be lying if I said no. But I certainly don't wish I was young again. I do wish that my body felt young enough to do things with less pain and a little faster, but I don't want to be 15, 21, 30. Don't get me wrong, if there was a way to go back and know everything I know now, I would gladly go back to day one. But we can't go back with hindsight and do things over. That's what most people say, oh if I could be young again knowing what I know now. We can't do either. But with age we really do gain so much more, mentally and even physically. We tend to take better care of ourselves, making sure that we don't have too many aches and pains that come with old age, trying to prevent the worse, things our parents didn't even think about.

So my brother Jimmy and his wife Jackie have two daughters and live in Florida. Unfortunately I don't get to see them as often as I'd like to, but it does happen and because our visits are so far and few between, my nieces, Megan and Sarah, just seem to be so much older and more grown up every time I see them.

And today Sarah turned 15.

Sarah stands out. Sarah stands out as Sarah and I believe she will follow her own path. I'm also sure she thinks she knows everything but her good grades in school prove that some of that is right. Her choices in what is fun are age appropriate and though I'm sure she drives her mom, dad and sister crazy sometimes, every time I see her she couldn't be sweeter and more polite and loving. As she is to her teachers and her elders.

From just a baby, Sarah was always getting into something, going wherever she wanted and at one point Jimmy and Jackie had to put lock high up on the door that Sarah couldn't reach. Sarah had developed a late night/early morning ritual of taking walks. She would go out in the yard or driveway to bring in a toy she wanted to play with, or sometimes just stay outside playing. She would ring bells of the neighbors, calling on friends down the block. She's independent and strong and it grows in her every day.

Eventually the lock high up on the door didn't work. Sarah figured out how to build a ladder and get up there and unlock the door. She continued her nightly rounds, probably no more than 2 or 3 years old at the time. Then her parents put an alarm system in the house. Not an alarm system for burglars breaking into the house, an alarm system for when Sarah was breaking out. I remember when Jackie was telling me about the new alarm, she also added that Sarah was listening to one side of the phone conversation and was getting all pouty and angry. She was trapped! Poor little baby! How could her parents deprive her of her 2am walks around the neighborhood!

Peace my Sarah! Peace of mind. Peace with being who you are.

You're 15 today. That's who you are. Enjoy every day, every moment. It's a great time in your life even though there may be a few bumps in the road. Remember you really don't know everything and have so much to learn about so much and have the time to do it all.

Don't wish for tomorrow or being older, it will be here before you know it. Be 15. Be 15 the way you want to be 15. Not how anyone else thinks you should act or be at 15. Be you. Be true. You wont fail!

Enjoy yourself my beautiful girl. Continue to be that strong, independent unique young woman. I'm proud to call you my niece. Happy Birthday! xxxooo